


To Achieve Salvation

by Bookworm776



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Post-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm776/pseuds/Bookworm776
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after regeneration, the world is full of changes. But only for some. To Zelos, it seems that things are the same as before. When a problem emerges that threatens the stability of the fragile new world, Zelos must rejoin his former companions to find a solution and achieve his own salvation. Post-game. Not Phantasia or Dawn of the New World compliant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction--The World had Changed

To Achieve Salvation  
Part 1—Changes  
Introduction: The World had Changed

 

The world had changed, they said.

Zelos knew this better than anyone, although it often seemed like nothing was different. Walking through the streets of Meltokio in the early morning light, it was as though the events of a year ago had never occurred. The streets of the rich were as opulent as ever, displaying the prosperity of the elite. The nobles lined the wealthy avenues, mingling with the occasional pompous priest and working hard to avoid the servants scampering about on their errands. The poor were languishing in the lower depths of the city, out of sight and mind to those above. Of course, half-elves were nowhere to be seen, being the object of every inhabitant’s scorn.

Each person the Chosen passed stared at him. The nobles all scrabbled for his attention, and Zelos replied with a respectful nod to the men and a flirtatious wink to the ladies, every look attached with his signature smirk. The priests huffed at him, displaying their disgust, which Zelos responded to by increasing the intensity of his flirting. The servants bowed their heads in respect and then scurried off, but not before he greeted the ladies with a devilish smile, making some of the noble women’s faces sour with jealousy. 

Zelos continued the short route, heading back to his mansion after an early-morning meeting with the king and church over some matter or another. As usual, he had not gotten a word in due to the vicious infighting that plagued Meltokian politics. Reaching the front steps, he nodded a silent greeting towards Sebastian, who had opened the door. He walked up the stairs and disappeared into his room.

The world had changed, they said.

Then why was so much the same? The class and racial divides, the corrupted church, the ineffective king—and the Chosen One was still caught in the middle.

A year. It had been a year since the split worlds were reunited and the true nature of the twisted systems they lived with had been exposed, yet Zelos Wilder was still the Tethe’allan Chosen of Mana.

The other members of his group had gone on to do great things. Lloyd and Colette were running across the world, destroying all the exspheres they could find. Raine and Genis alternated studying at Sybak and traveling to promote the acceptance of half-elves. Regal had finally removed his handcuffs and had once again taken control of the Lezarano Corporation, becoming a respected leader and using his company’s vast resources to help rebuild the worlds. Presea had taken it upon herself to restore Ozette, with much assistance from Regal and the occasional stammering help of Genis. Sheena was busy as well. After catching up with her grandfather in wake of so many years apart, the summoner began training to become the future chief of Mizuho. 

And what had Zelos done?

Well, he had made Sheena the peace ambassador to Sylvarant, to which the indignant successor replied with an acceptance to the king and a scathing personal letter to Zelos. And after that? Really, nothing. He had pushed strongly to clean up the church, but the institution was in so much chaos that his pleas had fallen on deaf and frantic ears. The chosen had also advocated for some of the more restrictive measures against half-elves to be removed, but the king would hear none of it. The royal leader was under enough pressure with the worlds suddenly being thrust back together and was now faced with the new challenge of having to give up the power source of cheap, abundant exspheres. But what Zelos had pushed the most tirelessly for was the one thing met with universal disdain: the abolishment of the chosen system. The church had responded to his proposal with an uproar. They claimed that the world was too fragile for them to upset the balance any more. In reality, Zelos had suspected that they feared losing their influence upon state affairs. The young man also presumed that the king would not mind getting rid of the chosen system; after all, Zelos was only a threat to his power. However, the ruler would not risk the wrath of the church with the world in such a delicate state. He, too, had refused Zelos’ request.

After shutting the door to his large room, Zelos closed his eyes and sighed. The meeting that morning had been atrocious. Amidst the usual petty bickering, he had made yet another attempt to consider the idea of revamping the church (and the chosen system along with it) only to be met with the furious disagreement of everyone in attendance. After that, he was forced to sit through another three hours of unproductive squabbling only for the meeting to be adjourned without the slightest hint of progress.

Meandering over to his dresser, he approached the full-length mirror that sat beside it. Staring at his reflection, he watched as his grinning mask disappeared, leaving behind his true melancholy self.

The world had changed.

Then why did he still feel so empty?

Zelos had been broken for a long time. The events of his life had left him hollow and bitter, his grinning countenance an empty, obnoxious facade to hide the hurt that lay beneath. His adopted persona served to keep others at an arm’s length, even those he cared for. Every other companion he had traveled with had made peace with their past, confronting their demons and using the pain to make them stronger. He had hoped that the quest to unite the worlds might do the same for him, but he was mistaken. If anything, he felt more torn up inside and alone than before. How was that even possible? 

A faint knocking at his door interrupted his brooding. Shaking off his depressive stupor, he slid his pleasant mask back upon his face and opened the door, revealing the perfectly-postured Sebastian. 

“ ‘Sup, Sebastian?” Zelos asked, leaning casually against the door frame. He twirled a strand of his flaming red hair around his fingers in an absent-minded manner.

“Master Zelos,” the butler stated, prim and proper as ever, “The tailor has just arrived. He requests that you allow him to make the final adjustments to your outfit for the celebration this evening.”

Oh. While lost in his thoughts, Zelos had forgotten the most talked about topic of the past few weeks among the nobility. There was a grand banquet being held to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the world’s reunification. All of the most important people of Tethe’alla were invited, as well as some of the key officials of Sylvarant and the regeneration group themselves. It was another power-play of the king in guise of a celebration.

“Sure. I’ll be down in a sec,” replied Zelos in his flippant tone. He kept his outward appearance neutral, but he was inwardly groaning at the thought of attending yet another of the nobility’s ceaseless celebrations. Not to mention that he would have to face his accomplished former companions with his lackluster post-regeneration achievements. Couldn’t a guy catch a break?

“Master Zelos?” Sebastian inquired, “Are you alright?” His normally passive voice betrayed a hint of concern.

Crap. Zelos had been distracted by his bitter inner monologue for longer than he’d thought. Time to do damage control.

“No, I’m fine,” the Chosen drawled. “Just busy thinking about all the hunnies I get to charm tonight.”

“Of course, sir,” the manservant replied, not looking convinced but choosing to drop the subject. He turned around and made his way back to the lower level.

After watching Sebastian’s head disappear down the stairwell, Zelos dropped his mask once more, the bitterness souring his features. For a moment his eyes went blank, reflecting the hollowness that pervaded his soul. 

The world had changed, they said.

Then why was everything the same?


	2. Running

#### To Achieve Salvation

##### Part 1—Changes

##### Chapter 1: Running

Zelos sighed and glanced towards the clock. 9:30. He couldn’t wait any longer to show up to the party. He was always fashionably late, which was a great strategy to avoid being caught at unpleasant engagements for too long (as well as perpetuating his reputation), but this celebration was important enough that he couldn’t avoid it forever. 

He glanced at himself in the full-length mirror and did a quick turn. He looked especially handsome tonight, if he did say so himself. His suit was a light blue that complemented his skin tone and brought out his eyes, and it had intricate silver detailing down the lapels and sleeves. His hair was in an elegant braid that trailed down his back, the fiery red intense against the pale color of his clothing. Draped across his side lay his sword in a fine sheath. The Chosen allowed himself a small grin. The ladies would be drooling tonight. In fact, if he could become surrounded by his hunnies all evening, he might be able to avoid the presence of his former companions. 

As Zelos left his mansion and started on the short walk to the noble’s convention center, he reflected on his group. It wasn’t that he hated them, per se. It was just that he had never quite fit in. Being a triple agent, he had entered the travels with no intent of truly befriending those people. They were just means to an end; he was using them and they were using him. Or so he thought.

Over time, the swordsman had discovered how genuine the party was. Everyone fought with firm convictions, absolutely selfless. As for Zelos? Well, he was just looking out for himself. He had grown up in the uncaring world of the Tethe’allan nobility—anyone who befriended him always had ulterior motives. It was a selfish, cruel society. His past experiences made him unable to believe the sheer amount of trust the regeneration group had placed in him. 

Things had never been the same since his betrayal at the tower. Sure, rescuing his companions from the traps and retrieving the aionis had dulled the sting a little, but the wound opened by his actions had never healed. No one had been sure how to act around him after that. The easy pattern of obnoxious teasing became awkward and uncomfortable, and despite the best efforts of Lloyd and Colette, a heavy silence would pervade across the group whenever he was present. As for Zelos himself, he could hardly bear to look at anyone’s faces. When Colette beamed, her face alight with one of her radiant smiles, he could only see the tears in her eyes as he held his sword to her throat. When Sheena wore her trademark little half-smirk, the shocked and hurt expression she had at that cursed tower was all he could discern. Every visage just served as another reminder of what he had done, of what he had become. Of what he had always been. Zelos Wilder: Chosen One, Renegade, Cruxis Angel. The outlier of every group. The one who should never have been born.

He reached the grand doors and was let in without hesitation, greeted with deep, respectful bows by the servants. He chuckled lowly to himself. Tonight would be terrible. He was sure of it.

* * * * *

Despite all outward appearances, Zelos was an intelligent and perceptive man. Which is why the chosen cursed himself for making one of his uncannily accurate predictions: the party was indeed terrible. He was stuck in the midst of the dance floor, taking one of his many hunnies for a dance. The noblewoman he was entwined with—what was her name again? Georgia? Geraldine?—was in yet another fit of giggles, equal parts tipsy and annoying. She was pretty enough, although her outfit consisted of a ridiculous amount of ruffles and layers. She smelled like she had fallen into a vat of sickly sweet perfume, a sensation that was torture to the angel’s heightened senses. Zelos had only grabbed her for a dance because he had spied Raine out of the corner of his eye. Granted, the chosen had a great appreciation for the half-elf; she had a cool, refined beauty and an elegant air, but she asked rather pointed questions. Besides, he thought with a sigh as he parted with the nameless girl, where there was Raine, there was usually—

“Hey look. It’s the idiot chosen,” a young, nasally voice broke through the small section of the crowd. Speak of the devil, and he appears.

“Oh. Hey brat.” Zelos responded, stepping towards the half-elf with a dazzling grin, “Where’s Presea? Did she get tired of that awkward stuttering you call flirting? Then fear not! The Great and Mighty Lord Zelos is always willing to share his knowledge of the opposite sex with the less fortunate male specimens!”

“I-I-uh—,” Genis sputtered, his tiny fists shaking, “Ugh! I was just trying to say hi!”

Zelos put his hands on his hips and cocked his eyebrow. “Interesting greeting you have there.”

“Like you’re one to talk. Grr…just never mind!”

With that, the mage stalked away. Zelos put his fingers to his temple. He felt a little guilty; after all, he didn’t hate the brat. Well, he supposed he could be glad that he had driven Genis away before the half-elf had had the chance to interrogate him about any racial policies. 

“Charming as ever, I see,” came a low, feminine voice from behind him. Sheena stood near the back corner, looking elegant in a dress of deep burgundy silk, a color that emphasized her exotic features.

Zelos put on his fetching smile. “Well hello, my violent, demonic banshee. You’re looking especially ravishing tonight.”

“Keep the perversion to yourself,” Sheena huffed, flicking a few loose strands of hair away from her face, “Also, couldn’t you give the kid a break? I mean, it’s been a year since you’ve seen him last.”

Zelos responded, matching her level of sass. “Hey, I don’t talk to guys, remember? And besides, the brat started it. He was distracting me from taking in the sights and sensations of the evening. However, I will gladly pick up from where I was so rudely interrupted with you.”

“Why you—“ the summoner exclaimed, her anger causing the blood to flow to her cheeks. She raised her hand as if to strike him, but at that moment the quarreling pair were both hit with a sharp smack.

“Ow!”

“Not the face!”

Both Sheena and Zelos rubbed their sore heads and looked towards the direction where the painful hit had come from. The chosen’s eyes gleamed in recognition.

“Raine! My cool beauty! It is wonderful to see you again.”

“Geez! What the heck was that for?” exclaimed the irritated ninja.

“You’re both acting like children. One would have hoped that a year would have granted you a little maturity,” the half-elf replied, pushing her spectacles further up her face and maintaining her collected composure. She looked stunning in an elegant teal gown.

“I knew you missed me!” Zelos proclaimed, a goofy grin on his face. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a group of young noblewomen staring at him and giggling, so he sent a flirtatious wink in their direction. Gasps and shrieks burst from that section of the room. Sheena rolled her eyes, while Raine just sighed. The professor opened her mouth as if to speak when a high-pitched, though not unpleasant, squeal sounded out from across the room. The trio turned, startled, towards the direction of the noise, and Zelos was suddenly enveloped in a giant hug from Colette.

“Zelos! I’m so happy to see you again!” the blond angel cried in delight. She looked up towards him, beaming, her white and blue gown appearing dull in wake of her radiant smile.

Zelos was a bit squeamish. How could she be happy to see him? Had she been able to so readily forgive his betrayal?

Pushing his inner thoughts aside, Zelos returned her brilliant grin. “Well, hello there, my cute little angel. How have you been?”

“I’ve been really happy lately. Lloyd and I have been busy collecting exspheres, but it’s so wonderful to travel across the united world.”

After this, her smile faded as a thought struck her. “But I should be asking how you’ve been. You're the only person I haven’t seen since we parted. What have you been doing?” she inquired.

That was fast. Colette had zeroed in on the very topic he had been trying to avoid. In a jovial tone, he said, “Oh, you know, the usual. Charming my sweet hunnies and being the epitome of sexiness!”

The Sylvaranti giggled. “You’re so funny, Zelos,” she replied, while Raine and Sheena sighed. 

With that, she grasped his hand. “Come on!” the angel cried, dragging him behind her, “Everyone else is over here. I’m sure they’d love to see you too!”

Zelos was led across the ballroom before he had the chance to voice any objections or devise one of his normal excuses, with Sheena and Raine following behind. Oh well. This way, he could get the rest of the obligatory reunion over with and then avoid everyone for the rest of the celebration. He put on his showman grin as the rest of his former party members came into view. However, he couldn’t help but note how the pleasant banter they appeared to have been enjoying came to a halt at his arrival. 

“Oh, hey, Zelos,” Lloyd said with a grin. “It’s really good to see you! It’s been too long.” The duel swordsman was dressed in a fine suit that still contained a lot of red, although Zelos was relieved to see that there was no sign of suspenders anywhere. Lloyd himself was just a bit taller, but retained the same pleasant energy that Colette possessed.

“Or not long enough,” Genis muttered from behind him, still disgruntled by redhead’s earlier comment. The mage was standing beside Presea, wearing a suit that he must have chosen to impress the girl but made him look like he was attending a funeral. The axe-wielder herself had grown a bit, her body finally aging again, and was in a dress of a light pink material that matched her hair and brought a little color to her cheeks.

“Genis,” Presea admonished, “That was unkind.”

The small half-elf had the decency to look guilty, although he was more upset about drawing the ire of his crush than hurting the chosen’s feelings. “Sorry,” he murmured, adjusting his collar and looking towards Zelos for a brief moment before turning away again.

Zelos smiled towards the girl. “Thank you, my little Rosebud,” he laughed, “Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.”

Presea said nothing to this, but wrinkled her nose in distaste. Genis gave a little strangled growl, but remained still as well. An awkward silence fell over the group. Sensing this, Regal cleared his throat and began the conversation anew. “Greetings, Chosen. How has this past year favored you?”

Ever the formal president. Although no longer wearing handcuffs (thank Martel), he still carried himself stiffly, his hands clasped in front of him. His long, blue hair was brushed back over his shoulders, and he wore a classic tuxedo that was probably some sort of Lezarano product.

The magic swordsman groaned. “Come on, Regal,” he whined, “I think we know each other well enough that you can just call me Zelos.”

The executive gave a small nod. “My apologies, Cho—Zelos. I simply thought it best to refer to you by your formal title in this atmosphere.”

The group was faced with another bout of silence. Sheena tapped her foot, impatient, and Genis was sending furtive glances at Presea, who remained as oblivious as ever. This time, however, it was Lloyd who broke the quiet, his confusion evident as he asked, “Wait a minute. You’re still the Chosen?” The dual swordsman stared at Zelos. “Wasn’t that title dropped after we reunited the worlds?”

Colette nodded in agreement. “According to the Sylvarant church, I’m no longer the Chosen. Why is that different with you? I mean, we all know how much you hate being the Chosen…” The blonde angel trailed off after that statement, shifting a little.

All seven pairs of eyes were on him now,. Well, crap. This was exactly what he had hoped to avoid.

Laughing off the stares of his companions, Zelos replied airily, “Well, I wanted to have a few final…get-togethers with this title. It’s really the only thing it’s good for.”

“Get-togethers?” Lloyd queried, widening his eyes in confusion. “You mean parties like this? Wouldn’t you still come to these things anyway?”

Sheena grunted. “Yeah, sure. That’s exactly what he means.”

Raine, however, narrowed her eyes and pursed her mouth into a thin line as she stiffened at the exchange, displeased. “Well then,” she stated icily, fixing her stern gaze on Zelos as she addressed him, “I do wish that you had kept me and Genis more informed about the state of the government and the status of your title. You could have greatly aided us on our travels.”

The professor paused and took a deep breath, regaining her composure. “Regardless of why you are still the Chosen,” she continued, “I hope you have put your position of power to appropriate use. Tell me, what legislation does Tethe’alla have underway concerning half-elf rights?”

“Well,” Zelos began, avoiding eye-contact, “There have been a few motions put through here and there, but not much has happened. The king is focusing on other things, like trying to find a replacement pope that isn’t going to plot his murder,” That much was true, at least. Then, expertly changing the subject, he continued, “But why don’t you fill us in on your adventures in Sybak? I heard through the grapevine that you and the little guy were taking the academic world by storm. I don’t think there’s been that much gossip from the town since I graced its learning institution with my smart and sexy presence.”

Raine said nothing, looking not angry, but disappointed at his evasiveness. That was worse; Zelos would much rather suffer the Professor’s wrath than the resigned expression she currently sported. The look that showed she was wrong to ever expect anything useful from the Tethe’allan chosen. 

Ignoring the subject change, Regal interjected, “I believe I also sent in some requests on behalf of the Lezarano Company’s efforts to help rebuild the worlds. However, I have not had much feedback. I understand that it is necessary to find new leadership for the church, but the king must tend to his subjects as well,” As you should too, went the unsaid comment.

Now Presea added in, her monotone voice becoming accusatory, “I also sent several letters to the king to implore for aid for Ozette. Why has nothing been done about that?”

Zelos’ face pinched into a slight frown. “I’m not the king, you know,” he said quietly, “I can’t do everything.”

“Well, you could at least do something,” Genis stated in disdain. Raine slapped her brother across the head for that, but she still looked irritated at the redhead herself.

Zelos stood there, silent, putting his strained smile across his face. Internally, he was seething. Less than five minutes in their presence, and he was already the object of everyone’s scorn. Well, it was his usual place. Nothing had changed. He just had to get through a few more minutes of this tortuous gathering and then he was gone.

Colette looked, noticing the deteriorating mood across the group. Sharing a worried glance with Lloyd, she spoke up in an effort to diffuse the tension.

“So, Zelos,” the blonde inquired, “How’s Seles?”

Zelos flinched at that remark. He would be angry with Colette, but she was so damn innocent it was infuriating. He knew she meant no harm, but the comment caused the last of his patience and self-resolve to snap as his mind worked to suppress the emotions stirred by the thought of his sister.

“Well, it’s been a lovely reunion,” the Tethe’allan Chosen said, plastering a fake smile across his face, “But I really must be going. I have several of my darling hunnies to meet up with, and there’s only so much of me to go around!”

With that, he turned around and strode away from the group, not bothering to look back towards their faces. He wove his way through the crowd, exchanging the quick required pleasantries as he made his way to the back exit. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was unseen, he turned down an isolated hallway and headed for the doorway. However, he heard a slight rustle from the shadows. 

Still walking towards the exit, Zelos let out an exaggerated sigh. “Now, now, now, Sheena hunny,” the chosen said playfully. “There’s no reason to hide in the shadows. I know full well how irresistible I am to the ladies. No need to be embarrassed!”

The summoner emerged from the darkness of the hallway. “Seriously, how did you know it was me?” she grumbled. “I’m a ninja. I may be a bit clumsy, but I was dead quiet back there!”

Zelos stopped walking and looked back towards her. “Angel senses, dearie. Remember?”

“Unfortunately,” she muttered, but not quiet enough for the redhead’s sensitive ears.

“Anyways, have fun at the party. Catch ya later.” Zelos began to walk towards the exit again at a quicker pace. The ninja then leapt out in front of him, halting him in his tracks.

“Wait a minute. I have some things I want to ask you.” Sheena said.

“If you want to join in my personal post-party celebrations, you have an automatic yes.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” she huffed. “What is wrong with you lately?”

“Absolutely nothing. The great and mighty Zelos is always in top shape,” came his automatic reply. 

“Then why are you still running away?”

Zelos paused at her words. He forced himself to meet her gaze, and to his surprise, her warm brown eyes were filled with both accusation and concern. He looked away, but kept silent. When he glanced back up at her, he noticed she was carrying the half-spider from Welgaia, looped elegantly on a leather strap, forming it into a kind of necklace. She ran the cord through her fingers, twisting it back and forth, studying it intently.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to run away anymore,” Sheena whispered.

“I’m not,” Zelos replied, but the statement rang hollow to his own ears, and was less convincing to the ninja.

“Then why do you insist on changing the subject every time something uncomfortable comes up? And why haven’t you contacted anyone in the past year?”

“Well, it’s been busy—the handsome lord Zelos is always in popular demand,” the chosen evaded, flipping his braid off his shoulder.

Sheena scoffed and crossed her arms, throwing her weight on one hip. “Everyone’s been busy. But as far as I can tell, you have the least to show for it.” At this, her tone softened. “That’s because you’re still running away. But what are you running from?”

Temporarily emboldened by her questions, she blurted out, “So why are you still Chosen? What about the unfair laws? What about Seles?”

The ninja blinked and clenched her fists. “What about me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, hunny,” Zelos evaded.

Sheena sighed. “I’ve known you for a long time, Zelos. I know I missed so many signs before, but I’ll be damned if I miss them again.”

The summoner held the broken spider towards him. “Zelos, please keep your promise.”

She was too close. With her honest expression and pleading eyes, he was hitting at parts of him that he had worked for so long to hide, that he couldn’t bear to face. He remembered all the promises and that godawful trap. How could he forget? They were another part of the group of memories and innermost thoughts that reminded him of how weak he was. All he could do was break promises. So Zelos decided to do what he did best: run.

“Promises are fickle, my dear,” the angel remarked, averting his gaze and studying his fingernails. “You really should know better than to trust me by now.”

Sheena became angry again, and her eyes filled with fire. “You made it out of that trap! You got the aionis for Lloyd! You helped save the world! Why do you insist upon acting like an idiot when I know that you’re not?”

“You know nothing about me,” Zelos replied in a harsh whisper, all trace of joviality gone. Sheena was startled at his sudden shift in expression. “So don’t pretend otherwise.”

He then continued airily, as if the drastic change never happened, “Besides, I threw that spider charm away. I don’t need any more pretty, empty trinkets that try to remind me of promises I can’t make.” 

He brushed past the summoner and continued to the exit. He noted with a sense of bitter satisfaction that she did not follow him.

* * * * *

Zelos sat in his room later that night, staring at the broken spider he had set on the desk. He had rid himself of his formal attire and was now dressed down for the night, hair loose and flowing down his back. Once again, he had been unable to distract himself from his thoughts.

He let out a frustrated sigh at how pathetic he was. He had been holding together, molding himself into the acceptable product of the idiot chosen, only for one mention of his sister to tear everything apart.

Seles…his mind drifted back to his last meeting with her.

_Despite his best efforts, Zelos could feel his hands tremble from nervousness as he trudged up the bleak stairs of the abbey. Finally, after months of wrangling with the king and the church, he was able to secure Seles’ freedom. He had sent a letter with the good news to her as soon as it was confirmed, and then made haste to the abbey. Now that he was here, however, his eagerness had evaporated and he could feel dread pooling in the pit of his stomach._

_It had been a while since he had last seen his sister; in fact, he hadn’t made a visit since the regeneration journey. He couldn’t bear to face her before. But now that he had something to offer her—something to make her proud—maybe he could convince her to come home with him. Perhaps they could try to end the disconnect that had separated them since their youth. And maybe Seles could love him again._

_He slowly ascended the last flight of stairs and arrived at the plain-looking door that led to his sister’s room. Steeling himself, he straightened up and gave a tentative knock on the solid wood._

_“What?” came an irritated voice from the other side of the door. Zelos opened it a crack, observing his little sister bent over, packing a few last things into a final box. Upon hearing the door creak open, the quarter-elf stood up, turning around as she let out an irritated huff._

_“Tokunaga, I told you that I’m almost don—“ At that moment, Seles caught sight of the red-haired figure in the entryway. Her eyes widened in surprise, but then narrowed into a glare._

_“Big Br—Chosen One! What are you doing here?” she accused, her voice taking on an even sharper edge._

_Zelos entered the room and responded with one of his trademark grins. “Can’t a brother come to celebrate the good news and see his little sister off?”_

_The younger girl crossed her arms and scowled. “Well, maybe you should have bothered to visit me when I was stuck here. I might have actually appreciated the company of someone as annoying and irresponsible as you if that were the only option.”_

_The angel internally winced at her response, but maintained his exterior; there were no cracks in his facade. He opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by his younger sibling._

_“Unless…” Seles whispered in an uncharacteristically timid voice, wringing her hands and shifting her weight back and forth, “Did you come to…return the crystal?” She made eye contact with him briefly and then lowered her gaze to where the gem was affixed to his chest._

_Zelos’ heart sank at her words. There his sister stood, looking for all the world like the anxious five-year-old he had met and grown to love, demanding what he could not bring himself to tell her. He still remembered the day he gave her the crystal. They were both broken, reeling from the loss of their mothers and childhood innocence. On the verge of being forced apart, he handed her the crystal._

_“This is a charm,” he had said gently. “I want you to keep it since we’re siblings.”_

_In the few times he had seen her since, he had noticed that she kept it close. Although he knew that she hated him, he liked to think that she kept it to remind her of their bond, of the closeness they once shared. And now he was ripping the last of those memories away, taking something else important from this girl who had lost so much._

_Yet he couldn’t give the crystal back. Thanks to his scheming and spying nature, he had been turned into an angel. If he unequipped the crystal, he was resigning himself to death. It should have been easy to mention that, to tell her the truth. Surely she would believe him. Yet Zelos could not find it in himself to confide in her. He couldn’t help but feel that she would hate him more than she already did if she knew everything. After all, he was pretty despicable to himself._

_Zelos was used to running; running was safe. Falling back on familiar patterns, the chosen leaned back with a casual smirk, folding his arms behind his head._

_“‘Fraid I can’t do that, darling,” he chirped._

_Seles straightened up, affronted. “And why not?” she hissed._

_“Um, you know…chosen stuff,” he finished lamely._

_“But you…you promised…” she whispered. Then suddenly, the wide-eyed, unguarded look she sported earlier was no more. Gone was the close sibling whom he had entrusted his crystal with long ago, the expression on her face now as broken as their vow. “You should leave.”_

_Zelos panicked on the inside. Somehow maintaining his casual exterior, he whined, “But I just got here! Besides, aren’t you coming back with…” he trailed off._

_The sickly girl seemed to have grasped his meaning. She looked away before staring at him again, jutting out her chin._

_“I’m going off to Sybak to further my studies. There isn’t a semi-decent library in this hell-hole. The coach should be here any minute.”_

_“Oh…well, have fun then,” the chosen replied. Ignoring the emptiness filling up his chest, he brightened his expression and stated, “Make sure you say hi to all of my intellectual hunnies there. Tell them I miss them!”_

_He turned around and began head out the door, bumping into a harried-looking Tokunaga._

_“She’s all yours,” he said as he walked out of the desolate abbey, the sunshine outside doing nothing to abate the gloominess he felt within._

_He was too far away to hear Seles whisper, “I know you’d be happier without me…but you could've at least pretended you wanted me to stay.”_

Zelos sighed as the last vestiges of the memory floated across his mind. He then mentally slapped himself for the action. Sweet Martel, he was sighing more tonight than one of his lovestruck hunnies. The comparison made him feel a little ill.

He cut the sighing but continued his deep and rather depressing thoughts, examining the broken spider. All of a sudden, his heightened angelic hearing detected a small rustle from his open window. Grabbing his sword, the chosen stood up and eased into a defensive position, holding the weapon out in front for protection. A shadow of a man came into view. 

“Cut with the crap already and show yourself,” the red-head snapped, “I’m in no mood to deal with anything else shitty tonight.”   
The figure stepped forward, the dull light from Zelos’ lamp shining off of his ocean-blue hair.

“Ever the eloquent one, Chosen.” Yuan remarked, “However, we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates won't normally occur this fast. I just wanted to get a little more of the story out there. I don't own Tales of Symphonia.


	3. Chapter 2: Dying Promise

#### To Achieve Salvation

##### Part 1—Changes

##### Chapter 2: Dying Promise

Zelos stared at the unexpected visitor, lowering his sword but keeping a firm grip on the handle. “Well, if it isn’t everyone’s favorite Seraphim,” he mocked, circling the edge of the room. “But seriously, why did you leave your tree?”

It was unusual for Yuan to be away from the Yggdrasil tree, as he was its self-appointed guardian. Which meant that there was some serious and most likely annoying reason that the former Renegade had come to visit.

Yuan sighed, looking irritated as usual. “Believe me, Chosen, this is not a pleasure visit.”

Zelos knew he should keep his mouth shut, but he just couldn’t resist a few subtle digs. “Awww. I thought we were such good friends,” he whined, shaking his head.

The half-elf narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms in disdain. “Just call your little regeneration group here so I can say my piece and be done with it.”

The chosen groaned. Of course. “So, you want me to go to the castle in the middle of the night so we can have a sleepover?”

“You mean they’re not here?” Yuan arched an eyebrow in surprise.

“Nah,” Zelos replied, “They’re guests of honor at the palace.” 

What he neglected to mention was that he’d asked that they be hosted there. He knew that they’d expected to stay with him, but he just couldn’t make himself invite them. Running away again.

“Well, I would appreciate it if you fetched them. I do not like being away from my post for so long,” the seraphim said, rigid and cold.

“Fine, fine,” the chosen grumbled. He rang for a servant with a bell outside the door. 

Yuan sighed in faint disgust. “You’re not going to get them yourself?”

“Sheena would probably summon Origin on me if I went to her bed in the middle of the night,” Zelos reasoned. “And besides, even though we’re such great pals and all, I’m not leaving you alone in my house.”

* * * * *

After forty-five minutes of unbearable silence with Yuan, the party rambled into Zelos’ room, rumpled, their hair askew. The chosen would have much rather held the meeting in the drawing room, but the Seraphim, stubborn as ever, did not wish to been seen by any other members of his household. So he was stuck hosting a slumber party where all the hunnies would be fully clothed. Joy.

“Zelos, you better have a damn good reason for this,” Sheena grumbled, foul-tempered from being roused at such a late hour, “And your ‘personal post-party celebration’ does not cut it.”

She then rubbed her eyes and looked up, her expression changing from irritated to confused when she saw the figure next to Zelos. She opened her mouth to inquire, but Lloyd got there first.

“Yuan! What are you doing here?” he asked, surprised. 

“You missed the party,” Colette added, looking a little sad. Yuan gave her a blank look. 

“Anyways,” Raine said, attempting to get the conversation back on track, “You must have some objective for summoning us here, Yuan. What’s going on?”

Glancing around to make sure he had everyone’s rapt attention, the seraphim spoke, nodding to confirm the healer’s words. “Yes, I do have a reason. I will be frank, because I cannot stay here long.” He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. 

“I believe that the Yggdrasil tree is dying.”

Gasps of disbelief sounded out from the group. Everyone stared at Yuan, wide-eyed, in shock and horror. Even Zelos was a bit shaken up. How was this possible? 

Lloyd was the first to react, and his alarm reflected Zelos’ sentiments. “But I—I don’t understand! We saved the tree, and we’ve been destroying exspheres. Martel said that as long as we gave the tree love and adoration, it would always be protected!”

“Everyone we spoke to on our travels seemed to care for the tree,” Genis insisted, stepping forward towards Yuan with his fists clenched. “There’s no way it should be dying!”

“I don’t believe it,” Colette cried, grabbing on to Lloyd, “Is Martel really going to disappear? We all worked so hard to save the world!”

At this moment Regal spoke up, his smooth baritone cutting through the raised voices, “Let us remain calm. There is no use in getting panicked.”

“Yes,” Presea agreed, her expression even more grave than usual, “We must save our strength and keep our wits about us. Please continue, Yuan.”

The seraphim proceeded, picking up as if he had never been interrupted. “I wish for you to investigate the cause of this problem. After all, I cannot stay away from the tree for too long in its current state. I would propose that you come to see for yourself.”

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Lloyd vowed, squaring his shoulders, “We’ll do all we can to save the world. I refuse to let any more people to die in this struggle.”

“Good,” the ocean-haired angel declared, finally uncrossing his arms. “I will take my leave then. I will meet you at the base of the tree.”

With that, Yuan withdrew his blue wings and flew gracefully out the window, taking off into the night sky and leaving only the fluttering curtains in his wake. The night was peaceful and the stars twinkled, belying the problems that had just been revealed. The party was silent for a minute, absorbing the somber news. Finally, unable to stand the quiet any longer, Zelos spoke.

“Didn’t we just finish saving the world?” the chosen whined piteously, his posture sagging, “I mean, I just got settled back down and comfortable.”

Genis wrinkled his nose at his comment, but Raine sighed. Shaking her head, she said, “Well, we should get packed and ready to go. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Let’s return to the palace.”

The group trudged out the door, tired and troubled. Zelos stayed in his room, watching their retreating figures file out the doorway. Sheena was the last to leave, meandering about and lost in thought. As she moved past his desk, she noticed the small broken spider figure that sat there, forgotten in the events of the last few minutes. The ninja looked up towards the chosen, and Zelos met her gaze. Her expression was was full of emotion, contrasting with the blank, lifeless look he returned. Eventually, Sheena averted her eyes and exited the room, leaving the chosen once again alone to the mercy of his thoughts and the arachnid trinket that sat on his desk, mocking him like everything else in his life.

* * * * *

The next morning saw the group meeting outside the palace gates, looking more serious than usual. The sky was a bleak gray, reflecting the overall mood of the party. Even Lloyd was not as enthusiastic as normal, and with every encouraging comment he made, there was a hint of uneasiness in his expression. Everyone made their way outside the city, making standard small talk until they were far enough away to mount the rheairds. 

After a few hours of flight, the mana tree came into view. It looked much as it did the day it was planted, small and scrawny, but Zelos, with his angelic sight, was able to notice a few key differences. On the day of the reunification, the sapling was small, but it was full of promise, like a glowing, healthy child. This version of the tree retained the size, but none of the hopeful potential. Its branches appeared withered, and the leaves were no longer a vibrant green but a sickly yellow, threatening to crumble to dust from neglect. 

The sharp intake of breath from Presea behind him showed that the appearance of the sapling could now be seen by the others. Wrenching his gaze from the tree, he lowered the rheaird, landing it carefully before dismounting and hurrying towards the other sight that had caught his eye. There, lying on the ground at the base of the tree, was the spirit of Martel.

She lay still with her eyes closed, but her expression was not one of peace. She looked pale and sickly, much like the tree itself, and her hair had lost much of its luster. While she slept, various pained expressions ghosted across her face, speaking towards her silent suffering. Both the spirit and the tree looked to be breaking apart, worn away by some unseen force. Zelos could sympathize; he felt much the same. In fact, as he approached the tree, he swore he could feel some sort of invisible connection, a bond that seemed to ebb and flow, shifting in intensity. The longer the chosen stared, the more he could see the tree pulsing with a faint glow that would brighten and dim in a gentle yet foreboding pattern. It was mesmerizing. He could feel himself become further entranced, as if his soul was waxing and waning in connection with the tree. He half-closed his eyes, becoming lost in the rhythm of the plant, his vision swimming and sounds echoing, when an elbow to his ribs snapped him from his reverie.

He jerked, tearing his gaze away from the tree and glancing towards where the blow had come from, only to be met with the gaze of an irritated ninja. 

“Zelos, pay attention!” Sheena hissed through clenched teeth. Zelos then realized that there had been a conversation in the works while he was zoned out, enraptured by the dying plant. At this, the chosen yawned, stretching his arms back and laying one over Sheena’s shouldering an exaggerated motion, pulling her into his grip. The summoner pushed him off with a quick slap.

“—as though the mana is being drained,” Raine appraised, Zelos catching the tail-end of her words as he began to listen to the conversation surrounding him.

Yuan agreed. “That was my conclusion as well. However, I have not been able to act upon it. I have been trying to transfer mana back into the tree and the spirit.”

“Like how you saved Kratos when he released Origin’s seal?” Regal asked, staring intently at the other blue-haired man.

“Yes, very much the same,” Yuan replied.

Lloyd interrupted, “Well, couldn’t we just get a bunch of people to take turns doing that?”

Raine shook her head. “No, that wouldn’t work. The only ones who could even attempt to do so would be angels. If any regular being tried to transfer mana like that, they would kill themselves. Besides, the mana flowing from the tree is far greater than the amount that can be safely transferred back.”

“She’s right,” Yuan said with his usual air of superiority, “The most I can do is delay the inevitable.”

“How long do we have?” Colette questioned, her large blue eyes wide with concern.

The seraphim shook his head. “I can’t say for sure. Not any more than a few months or so if I constantly heal.”

Everyone looked troubled at this comment. Even Zelos was grave. Although, in all fairness, he supposed that being told the world would end in a few month’s time would have that effect on anyone.

Sheena broke the silence that had descended upon the group. “Can we figure out what’s draining the mana? We have to stop this.”

Genis stared at the tree, screwing his eyes in concentration. Half-elves as a species were in tune with mana flow, and Genis in particular was more sensitive than most. “It feels like…like it’s flowing out in many different directions. I can detect four strong paths…then they seem to branch off.”

Raine’s eyes lit up. “Could it be…the old mana links?”

Yuan murmured in a thoughtful manner. “Yes…four directions that branch off…that would make sense. Whatever power that is doing this might be taking advantage of the old summon spirit links and using them as channels to the tree.”

“Should we go investigate the temples?” Presea intimated, raising her head to better address the group.

Genis began a reply, but the words were lost to Zelos as the tree once again captured his attention. Shadows crept along the edge of his vision, his companions becoming faded blurs of color in the advent of the darkness. Even though the background became distorted, the tree seemed to come into greater focus, the insipid, clear glow contrasting greatly with the fuzzy surroundings. The voices of the others faded into a series of inconsequential echoes, and soon all he could hear was low hum of the light surrounding the sapling. Staring, Zelos could see the light—it must be mana—oozing from the tree, flashing in spurts as the spirit did its best to reverse the damage occurring, to no avail. Time seemed to slow, and Zelos could feel himself being pulled deeper into a trance, his senses dulling even as he became more aware of himself than ever before. The entire world faded, until all that was left was the tree and his spirit. As the mana flowed endlessly away from the tree, Zelos could sense its agony—its agony was his own. Because here, trapped in this void, as the tree was ripped apart, so was his soul. He felt fragmented and broken, with bits of himself fading, the missing pieces becoming cold and empty. And for a brief second that seemed to last forever, the tree flashed brightly and Zelos was gone—broken and blank, his conscience trapped in an agonizing nothingness.

* * * * *

“—los! Zelos! Come on, you stupid chosen!”

The stupid chosen in question took a sharp intake of breath, returning to the real world with a start. Everything seemed at once too bright and too loud. His insides reeled with the pain of what he had experienced, aching from the leftover hurt the emptiness had left behind. Composing himself, he snapped his eyes open and took in the faces of the group surrounding him, their expressions showing various stages of unease and concern. Sheena was directly in front of him, the fear in her eyes for once distracting him from her well-endowed chest.

Unsure of what was happening and still rather disorientated from his momentary blackout, Zelos raised his hand to his hair, scratching his head awkwardly. “Hey, guys. What’s up?” He plastered his usual showman smile across his face, projecting his mask of carelessness and confidence, when in reality, he was just as confused as they were.

Sheena raised her hand to slap him, but then lowered it, never making the hit. “Are…are you all right?”

“And why wouldn’t I be, hunny?” The angel tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.

Sheena remained silent, still staring at him, but Genis chimed in, wringing his hands in a nervous manner. “For a second, you were just…out of it. You looked so…” he trailed off and looked away from the Tethe’allan chosen, as if he were afraid to vocalize what he had seen.

“Empty,” Colette finished, her voice barely a whisper. 

“For a moment, you reminded me of myself,” Presea added in her mournful tone, “Of how I used to be.”

“Nonsense,” Zelos laughed, his voice light and airy, “I’m just as awesome as ever. I mean, the only thing that could improve me is if I had a hunny on each arm.”

However, his usual theatrics were falling flat. His words did nothing to ease the group’s concern. They looked at him as though he was a ghost, an alien yet fragile being that would disappear in a gentle gust of wind.

“Seriously, I’m fine!” he whined. He hated pity and he hated concern.

“I don’t know what I saw,” Raine spoke, her voice a low, quiet murmur as she tightly clenched her staff, the knuckles of her fingers turning white, “But I saw enough to be concerned. If anything is wrong, please tell us.”

Zelos swept his eyes around the people surrounding him. He took in everyone, one-by-one, and their worry seemed genuine. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to—no, no, no, he told himself. He didn’t deserve their concern. He didn’t want their pity. He was fine on his own.

“Will do, professor,” he winked, mask fully in place, “I’m just kind of tired. I was zoning out and remembering all of the fun I had last night.”

Raine looked unconvinced, but she stayed silent. 

“Well then,” Regal continued, shooting Zelos a troubled glance before moving the conversation along. “We have little time. We should head to the temples to start investigating the mana flow. Genis, do you have any idea where we should start?”

“Well…they all feel about equal to me,” the mage said, shrugging his tiny shoulders, “How about we just look at the nearest one?”

“That would be the temple of lightening. Let’s make haste,” Presea added, and the group assented and made their way back to the rheairds.

Zelos followed them, purposefully ignoring the pointed glances Sheena was giving him. As they took off into flight, Zelos reflected upon what happened with the tree. The experience had left him with a pit of unease in his stomach, and he knew he should tell the others what he had seen. Despite this knowledge, he couldn’t bring himself to. It would open himself up to all kinds of questions he wasn’t ready to answer. Frankly, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to answer them. The events seemed fitting to him; he was breaking apart at the place where he broke the trust of the others, at the very scene of his betrayal. Maybe this was the universe’s idea of karma. Because Zelos knew he deserved whatever he got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who has read, commented upon, or favorited this story. It means a lot to me that people willingly click on a story that I have spent way to much time on. On another note, I will be away from my computer for a month, so I will not be able to update for quite some time. Sorry about that.


	4. Chapter 3: Return of the Renegades

#### To Achieve Salvation

##### Part 1—Changes

##### Chapter 3: Return of the Renegades

As it was early enough in the day, everyone decided they had enough energy to scout out the Temple of Lightening before nightfall. They commenced with another rheaird ride, and Zelos once took position near Presea, as she was least likely to pry. They spent most of the journey in silence, with Zelos asking an occasional question and receiving a succinct reply from Presea. The chosen used the sporadic chatter to distract himself from the uneasiness he felt. The situation with the dying mana tree had shaken him. In typical fashion, Zelos had done his best to ignore the sensation, but the event at the mana tree had forced him to acknowledge that something was indeed wrong. Now, all he could hope for was for the group to solve whatever problem this was quickly so he could forget all of this and get back to normal. Whatever his normal was.

It was early afternoon when the group landed their rheairds a short distance from the lightening temple and concealed them in bushes—after all, as Raine had reminded them, they never knew who could be watching.

They began the short trek to the ancient shrine. Zelos hung near the back, and was quite alert despite the casual way in which he rested his arms behind his head. Years of living as the chosen had made him an expert at appearing relaxed while being observant. Sweeping his eyes over the party, his gaze lingered on Sheena. He noticed that her usual fiery stance was subdued, and she appeared to stare at nothing, lost in thought. Feeling as though he was doing enough brooding for the both of them, he waltzed up to her and put his arm around her waist, flashing her a debonair smile.

"Penny for your thoughts, darlin'?" he asked, strolling alongside her at a smooth pace.

The ninja glanced upwards towards him, shaken out of her reverie. She then noticed the arm around her, and she extricated herself from the offending limb with a nimbleness known only to those of Mizuho—and promptly tripped over a tree root sticking out from the ground. Zelos caught her and hauled her up in a dramatic fashion.

"Ah, my sexy summoner," he cooed, hugging her in her temporary vulnerability, "I just knew that you couldn't stay away from me for long."

He was about to elaborate further, but a slap to the face cut him off. His smile only grew broader. "Aaaaaannnd there's my violent demonic banshee. So what ails you today, Sheenuts?"

Sheena snorted in dry amusement. "So now you're interested in talking about feelings?"

"Ouch, hunny," Zelos replied, clutching his hands to his heart, "That was harsh. But we could talk about plenty of other more—substantial topics, like the way your robe emphasizes your wondrous —"

"Pervert," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "But if you really must know, I was just reflecting. After all, so many things have changed. I've become stronger, and we saved the world…" she trailed off, glancing towards a small charm she kept attached to her belongings—Corinne's bell. She ran her fingertips over the smooth metal surface, and then returned to her thought, saying, "But it feels like we're back to square one again. Was anything we did worthwhile?"

Zelos sighed, contemplating his words before he responded. It was an issue he had been struggling with as well. "Yes, things are different, and things are still the same. The world may be reunited, but the threat of trouble is still there. Cruxis and the Desians are gone, as well as the pope, but racism, pain and suffering still exist."

Sheena glanced up at him, surprised by the seriousness of his insightful response. She tried to speak, but Zelos continued, in a bit of a lighter tone, "You may be the master summoner that has forged a pack with every summon spirit, but you are still the ninja that trips over her own feet."

He then glanced down towards where the bell lay visible. "And Corinne may have died, but you still love him to this day. Yes, things are different, but things also stay the same. Is it good? Bad? I don't know. But it's part of being alive."

Sheena stared back at him, slowing her pace. "Zelos…" she murmured as her expression softened. Her gaze became warmer, almost tender.

The chosen seized up. Close. She was too close. "Also, I may have become an angel, but that doesn't mean my sexual prowess is in any way stifled. I've never been one for the church doctrines."

Her gentle expression morphed into an indignant scowl. "Idiot," she hissed, stalking ahead.

However, before she resumed her place near the front, she turned back. "…Thanks," she said, and then immediately faced away from him and struck up a conversation with Lloyd, looking much more like her normal self.

Zelos smiled to himself, and, just for a little bit, the emptiness lifted and the life that was Sheena filled his soul.

*****

As the group neared the temple, they were shaken from their pattern of comfortable conversation by the crackling of twigs underfoot, coming from a hidden area of the forest. Startled, they readied their weapons and stared towards the source of the noise with baited breath.

A dozen or so figures suddenly jumped out of the woods and lunged towards them with their weapons raised.

"Halt! Who goes there?" one said, pointing a staff at the party, "Access in this area is strictly forbidden." However, Zelos wasn't too focused on the weapon; instead, he took in their outfits, coming to a conclusion when he heard Lloyd speak.

"Renegades? What—what are you doing here?" Lloyd asked. Zelos rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to face palm. The duel swordsman may have been the inspirational driving force behind saving the world, but he was still kind of an idiot. Acknowledging that you know a hostile enemy that is trying to stay hidden was generally not the best way to handle this sort of situation, a concept that remained elusive to Lloyd.

"Lloyd!" Raine hissed in irritation, catching his mistake as well. But it was too late.

The leader of the Renegade group growled in anger. "They know who we are. They must die! Don't hold back!" And with that, the battle began.

In all honesty, it wasn't much of a skirmish. The group was outnumbered, but they had battled Lord Yggdrasil and come out victorious; although that it had been a year, a dozen renegades was no real challenge. Zelos hacked and slashed on autopilot, stabbing a figure or two with his sword and defending almost lazily with his shield. The fight was over in less than a minute, Colette having finished off the last enemy with Angel Feathers. Staring at the unconscious figures on the ground, everyone regrouped.

"Lloyd," Regal said, choosing his words carefully, "Perhaps, in the future, you could handle a situation like that more…delicately."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Lloyd asked, sounding rather affronted, "They are Renegades, right?"

"Well, Bud, what Pops here means is that you were an idiot," Zelos added in his jovial tone as he cleaned his blade.

"Hey! What's the big deal?"

Genis shook his head and sighed. "Lloyd, if an enemy's trying to remain secretive, blabbing what you know about them is not the best way to confront them."

Lloyd raised his hands in exasperation. "Okay, okay! I get it! Sheesh."

All this time Raine had been circling the bodies, leaving the scolding in the hands of the others. "Interesting," she murmured, rubbing her chin, "It appears as if these really are the Renegades. But what on earth are they doing here? I though Yuan disbanded them."

"He probably does not know about it," Presea said, her hands folded over the hilt of her axe. "And I'm sure he can't investigate it himself. The task falls to us."

The group nodded in agreement. Glancing around at the immobile figures that littered the forest floor, Sheena piped in, "Hey, why don't we do what we did at the Asgard ranch—you know, take their clothes and infiltrate. We could just take a look around to see what's going on."

Regal clasped his hands in front of him, appearing thoughtful. "Yes, that could work. But who shall go in, and who should remain here?"

"Let's take a look at the clothes to see what's useful," Colette suggested, and the party began to look over the Renegades. After a few minutes, Raine had come to some conclusions.

"Only a few of these outfits are usable. One for a women, and one for a shorter man. I will take the women's clothing; after all, I am a half elf, so I would blend in more naturally. Now, which guy should we take?" She held up the remaining outfit, and Zelos noticed that it looked rather…small. It was practically diminutive.

"While I'm all for having tight clothes to show off my body, I don't think that an infiltration mission will have the necessary appreciative audience for me," he drawled, leaning against a nearby tree, "But I think it might fit pipsqueak over there." He waved his arm in Genis' direction.

Genis scrunched his face. "Don't call me that, you stupid chosen!" He then turned and addressed his sister, his temper cooled. "I think it would be good for me to come along. That way, I could help assess the source of the mana drainage."

Raine nodded in agreement. "Very well. At least this way I can keep an eye on you."

After a bit of general shuffling and fidgeting, Raine and Genis managed to worm their way into the outfits, appearing to pass as Renegades.

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" Colette implored, her brow wrinkled with worry. It was a very Colette expression, Zelos thought. That girl was impossibly selfless.

"We'll be fine," Genis said, "We've dealt with worse."

"Still, be careful," Presea added, addressing the siblings with slight concern, "It is unwise to underestimate your foes."

A red blush spread across the young half-elf"s face at her words. "Of c-course, Presea," he stammered.

The Tethe'allan chosen grinned at the mage's embarrassment. "Ah, young love," he cooed, patting Genis on the back and earning a scowl from the aforementioned half-elf, who attempted to push the redhead away.

Raine ignored their antics and addressed the group with her usual, no-nonsense attitude. "I expect us to be back shortly. Genis and I will take a quick look around and gather any information we can about the Renegade's activities, as well as investigate the source of the drain on the Yggdrasil Tree. You should all remain here."

"A reasonable plan," Regal assented, "But how are we to know if there is any trouble?"

"Hmm…" Raine contemplated, biting her lip, "If we are not back here in an hour or so, that would be a sign of a problem."

"That sounds pretty good," Lloyd agreed, "But if we hear anything weird, we'll go in and fight."

"All right. We'll be back soon, and hopefully with some answers," the healer stated, and with that, the siblings turned and headed towards the direction of the temple. Zelos watched them leave, noting how their receding forms stood closely together, drawing nearer to one another for strength and comfort. The image, though restrained as to not arouse enemy suspicions, showed a gentle tenderness in the cool grey light. In fact, when he tilted his head slightly and squinted, a distant memory struck. He and Seles were exploring the yard, making the confines of the mansion grounds seem like the wilderness of their dreams, and his sister was so happy and carefree, looking up at him lovingly—

Zelos halted his train of thought. Those times were far behind him, and they would never return. Trying to avoid dwelling on his unpleasantly pleasant memory, he directed his thoughts to the task at hand. He leaned against a tree with a sigh. All he had to do was wait for the the siblings to find out what was wrong and report it with them to Yuan. Then he could stop this irritating charade.

*****

Genis stumbled over another pebble and sighed. The renegade outfit fit him for the most part, but the boots were at least a size too big. He tried to control his flailing the best he could, but the shoes were making him almost as clumsy as Colette. At least Presea wasn't around to see this. And it was a good thing that Zelos wasn't around either. That idiot would never let him live it down.

At the thought of the redhead, the young half-elf gave a slight frown, his mood dampening. Why did every interaction they share turn into an argument? As tempting as it was to blame it all on Zelos, Genis knew that wasn't fair. He had been no saint either, and his snide comments never helped smooth things over.

He never knew what to think about the Tethe'allan chosen. In spite of how much they argued, he didn't hate the man. On the contrary, he had developed a bit of begrudging respect for him. He was a competent fighter and surprisingly clever, with a math talent that surpassed his own and a penchant for quick thinking. Even though Zelos had been prejudiced against half-elves, he had freely admitted it, not hiding behind the empty lies most humans and elves did. He was a fine person until he opened his big mouth.

Then came his betrayal at the tower. Genis had been so hurt and angry at the time, even though Zelos had chosen Lloyd's group over Cruxis. Although by now, well over a year later, Zelos had more than proved his loyalty to them, he couldn't help but be hurt, and he lashed out at the chosen accordingly.

But perhaps he wasn't being fair. If there was one thing the tower taught him, it was that there was more to Zelos than meets the eye. Maybe if he just—

"Oof!" the mage cried, this time tripping over a twig. He reached for the arm of his sister but missed, and crashed to the forest floor. He scrambled quickly to get up, hoping Raine hadn't noticed, but he had no such luck. His face reddened as she knelt down beside him, examining the minor cuts and scratches from his fall.

"Oh, Genis," she murmured, her voice chiding yet gentle, "You really should be more careful." She muttered a quick incantation, and he felt his wounds heal over.

"I wasn't trying to fall over, sis," he scowled, crossing his arms, "It's these stupid shoes."

At that, Raine glanced down at his oversized shoes. Stifling a gentle laugh, she removed the offending objects from his feet and set them near her. "Here," she said, ripping off some leaves from a nearby tree and stuffing them in the toe of his shoes. "It's not perfect, but it should help."

Genis slid the boots back on his feet, taking a few experimental steps. The shoes were still a little loose, but at least he wasn't falling flat on his face every few steps. He smiled shyly at Raine. "Thanks, sis."

As they started to walk forward again, Raine continued, her light blue eyes piercing, "Why do I feel like that's not the only thing bothering you?"

When he didn't answer, she spoke again, a little more forceful, "Come on, Genis, you know better than to hide things from me."

The mage rolled his eyes but replied to her. "You never let up, do you?" he asked, and was met with a cool glare. He decided it was in his best interest to answer her.

"It's Zelos," he finally said, voice halting. "Don't you get the feeling that something's…off?"

At this, Raine's expression turned downcast, her eyes betraying a hint of sadness and unease. "I know what you mean," she replied with a heavy sigh, "And it worries me, too. He almost reminds me of how he was before the tower."

Genis took her silence as a cue to continue. "He's always kind of pushed us away. But he's doing it now more so than before. And he just feels so…empty. I don't know how to act around him, or what to say. After his betrayal, there was a whole side to him that none of us had ever seen. Now he just feels like a stranger. I don't even know him."

The healer nodded, her gaze showing her understanding. Genis looked her in the eye, desperate. "How do we fix this?" he asked, appearing for once his thirteen years of age.

"I—I don't know," she admitted. Genis dropped his gaze in sad understanding, and grabbed his sister's hand. She smiled at him, sadly, and they once again walked toward the temple.

*****

Lloyd and Colette were seated on the forest floor, next to each other, with Presea nearby. Lloyd was carving a small charm while Colette looked on in excitement. Presea was observing his activities with mild interest, being a woodcarver herself. Sheena also watched from a ways back, while Regal kept an eye over the group, on the lookout for any more surprise attacks. Zelos stood off to one side, leaning against large, rough tree. He figured there were probably splinters digging into his back, but his angel durability left him unable to feel it. He tried not to dwell on the thought, but his efforts were fruitless.

It was the little things that plagued him. He would try to forget that he was an angel, and he often succeeded in pushing the thoughts of the bigger problems, like agelessness and immortality, to the back of his mind. But all of the minor quirks—the lack of sensitivity, the heightened visual and auditory senses, the ability to stay awake for long periods of time and eat very little—that forced him from his fantasies and made him face the harsh realities of his condition.

He looked over towards the group of people on the forest floor. Lloyd seemed to have finished his carving and had presented it to Colette, who accepted it in delight. She beamed and gave Lloyd a hug, causing the teen to fidget, although he made no effort to escape her grip. Sheena and Regal looked on with bemused grins, and even Presea gave a small smile.

Zelos couldn't help but feel like an outsider. This group was so strong and close, able to be honest and trust each other. Each member had a purpose, a place they were headed, a goal to achieve. Zelos had none of that. Back when the world was split, at least he had been fighting for something—to avoid the fate of the chosen and for Seles' freedom. But now, he might still be the chosen, but at least he was free of Cruxis, and Seles had gained her liberty. He felt like he lacked a purpose, a reason to live. He drifted more aimlessly than ever before. The incident with the tree had only heightened his awareness of this fact. In fact, even now, close to the temple, he felt a bit of the hollowing sensation that had occurred earlier. His lips upturned into a bitter smirk, and he let himself fade a little. He was tired of fighting back against the numbing sensation. Perhaps it would just be easier if he gave in. Finally disappearing like in his mother's dearest wish.

"Hey, Zelos," came a voice to his left, and the chosen opened his eyes and turned his head. Lloyd had made his way next to him, having left Colette and Sheena observing Presea take her turn at carving.

"What's up, Bud?" Zelos replied, leaning further against the tree. To any outward observer, he would appear relaxed. But for as dense as Lloyd could be, he had a special way of understanding people. Zelos' disguise wasn't fooling him today.

"You know, you don't have to hide around us," Lloyd remarked, crossing his arms and leaning against the tree next to him.

"What makes you say that?" Zelos inquired, playing with the material of his pink vest. He must be slipping if so many people appeared concerned for him today. He would have to work on that.

Lloyd exhaled in irritation. "You know what I mean."

He continued, this time more gently, "But I also know that I can't force you to tell me anything. For all that you talk, you really don't say much at all. Whenever you're ready, we're waiting."

With those words, he walked off, rejoining the group on the forest floor. He kneeled down next to Colette, bumping their shoulders together as they both watched Presea carving. He glanced up to Zelos and tilted his head, gesticulating for the chosen to join them. Zelos caught the swordsman's gaze and quickly looked away, going back to picking at his clothing. Part of him wanted to join, yearned for their acceptance. But the larger voice in the back of his mind stopped him, freezing his feet in place, reminding him that he didn't belong. So he once again resigned himself to the numbness and waited for Raine and Genis' return.

*****

As the entrance came in sight, both brother and sister adopted a brisk pace, standing up straight and making sure the helmets obscured most of their faces. Several Renegades streamed in and out of the opening, directed by an imposing senior officer in the middle.

"Private, over there!" he shouted, waving his arms furiously at a soldier as his booming voice echoed, "I want you to get me a status update from that scouting report. And you! See to the inventory. I want to know how much iron we have and when the next shipment is due!"

As the officer barked orders, Raine and Genis blended in with the crowds, making their way into the temple as fast as they could without arousing suspicion. Just as they were about to set foot inside of the shrine, an even louder shout caught their attention.

"Hey you! Tall one and shorty by the entrance. Get over here, pronto!" the commander yelled, placing his hands on his hips and bending his arms in such a way that emphasized his bulging muscles.

Genis started and spared a quick glance towards his sister, worried by this latest development. She made eye contact with him and gave him a small, reassuring smile, though she was also concerned. Reaching a silent agreement, they both walked over the the Renegade leader, albeit with a tight grip on their weapons.

However, they needn't have worried. As soon as they came within arm's length of the officer, stacks of paper were thrust into their hands. Genis nearly dropped his in surprise, but caught it just in time, wobbling only a little.

The officer didn't bother looking at them. "Take this to the chief mechanic, and tell him I want a status report ASAP for the commander's visit. I need to know how long these repairs will take."

Genis nodded, not daring to speak, and he and Raine once again made their way to the entrance, successfully making it inside this time. The siblings attempted to find a small, secluded area where they could glance at the paperwork, but were unable to slip out of sight in the cavernous area. Aware of the many eyes upon them, the half-elves observed as much as they could while continuing onward as to not arouse suspicion.

The first room of the temple appeared much as normal, the lightening rods set in the purple stone untouched. Lightning continued to flash every so often, but its striking range was contained to the rods.

Genis gave Raine a nudge and whispered, "Do you feel that, sis?"

Raine nodded in agreement, and they continued deeper into the temple. The half-elves could sense the mana flowing further and further into the monument, the current becoming stronger the deeper they went. Finally, the reached the inner sanctum and the alter to Volt, and were met with a sight that caused Genis to stop dead in his tracks.

"What the—" he exclaimed, cut off by his sister grabbing him and pulling him into an alcove among the shadows.

"Quiet, Genis," she chided, her voice a fraction of its normal volume.

Genis simply nodded, never tearing his gaze away from center of the room. Near the far edge of the cavern stood volt's platform, much as it had when they had visited the temple in their earlier journeys. But the location of the platform was the only constant from before.

There, placed in the exact spot Volt had appeared, was a vast, imposing structure. In a way, it looked similar to a grand cathedral, much like the one in Flanoir with its pointed towers and glass panels. But the resemblance only extended as far as the physical structure was concerned. The snowy city's building gave off an aura of warmth and comfort, the perfect place for a weary soul to rest after being exposed to the cold. The object that stood in front of Genis did no such thing. It was a cruel parody of a holy sanctuary, with twisted metal towers that flashed in the light. Odd bits of pipes ran across the surface, which seemed to mimic the intricate carving of the holy buildings. Interspersed across the facade were glass panels, which drew attention to the complex and somehow sinister inner workings of the mystery contraption. In the center of the machine, near the top where a grand rose window would appear in a cathedral, was a circular chamber black as the darkest storm. In the middle of the darkness, a tiny red light was suspended, like a devilish incarnation of a flickering candle.

Genis could feel the mana flow being funneled into the ominous red light. So this was the source of the mana drainage. But what was this—this thing? What purpose could it possibly serve? The thought made the half-elf angry. That beautiful young tree everyone had worked so hard to restore was being destroyed by this monstrosity. Forcing himself to control his anger, he focused once again on the machine, trying to learn as much as he could. He could discern the mana funneled to the red light with a surprising amount of force. It was being shot at some distant object in forceful bursts, like it was slowly trying to chip away at its goal. But this observation served nothing to further his understanding; in fact, it confused him more.

"So, what' s your estimate for the repair time? We need to get this thing running at full capacity as soon as possible," the renegade from earlier stated, his strong voice echoing around the cavern. The loud words cause the siblings to jump, breaking them from the observation of the machine. The officer was accompanied by a female who, though smaller in stature, seemed more intimidating. She was of about average height in half-elves, with deep purple hair cropped around her head, a no-nonsense style. Her Renegade uniform was more adorned, with extra details that hinted at her high status. Everything about her, her sharp, clever face, her imposing stance, the powerful lance in her grasp, perpetuated an aura of command. Although she said nothing, it was clear who was in charge based on the nervous glances the burly officer gave her.

A Renegade who must have been the mechanic wiped his hands off with a rag and approached the senior officials. He looked at first to be annoyed, but when he caught sight of who was accompanying the normal officer he immediately stiffened, transforming into the picture of a perfect soldier.

"In all due respect, sir and madam, I need the repair plans before I can give you an accurate estimate," the mechanic stated, his tone as stilted as his posture.

"Nonsense! I'm sure that I sent those documents out with someone. They should have arrived!"

Raine gasped in horror and looked down at the stack of papers she was holding. Sure enough, the title said, "Repairs."

"Genis," she hissed, tightening her grip on his shoulder to grab his attention, "We need to leave. Now."

Her brother nodded in agreement, and the siblings quietly made their way to the exit. However, they were knocked out of the way by a harried soldier, who burst into the room.

"Sir! Sir!" the soldier yelled, making his way to where the officers were gathered.

The male officer growled. "This is an important meeting. It will have to wait."

The soldier persisted, "But sir, the the scouting party…they're not back yet," he huffed, catching his breath.

"So? What about it?"

"Well, another group caught site of armed intruders entering the same area of the forest. If they ran into the scouting party, then—"

"You. Gather a larger group of Renegades and send them in the area. We need to keep our activities secret," The women commanded to the lesser officer, her voice quiet but powerful.

She went to issue other commands, but Raine and Genis had heard enough. They leaned further back into the shadows, slinking along the back wall towards the exit. They inched towards the doorway, closer and closer to freedom. Raine had rounded the corner and was waiting, stone-still, for Genis, the papers clenched tightly in her hands. He stepped outwards to join her, and—

CRASH!

Genis landed on the stone floor, crashing onto his elbow with a loud hiss and a wince. The helmet disguising his face rolled away with a dull clatter. Grabbing the pile of papers he had spilled in his fall, he then looked in front of him, hoping to find his camouflage. Instead, he noticed the bulky figure of the commanding half-elf sprawled out in front of him.

"Watch where you're going, you little…" the burly man said, rubbing his head where a decent-sized welt was forming from his impact with the floor. He looked towards Genis to finish his curse, but the words died on his lips as he made eye-contact with the mage.

"Who the—who the hell are you?" he asked, advancing towards Genis with a quickness that belied his size. He reached the young half-elf and leaned over him, pinning him to the ground by his sore elbow, causing the youth to cry out in protest. "You're too young to be a Renegade. Are you some sort of mini-spy?"

Genis froze, unable to move in his fear. He looked around desperately, searching for Raine. He found her panicked eyes near the far wall, as she had been pushed away in the commotion. There was no way to reach her in time, and if she tried to cast a spell, her disguise would be uncovered and she'd be swiftly outnumbered as well.

"All right. You're coming with me. We're going to have a little meeting with the commander, to see if she suddenly started recruiting pipsqueaks like you." The officer grabbed him by his sore elbow and made to drag him to his feet, his grip like a vice around the aching tendon. With no time left to cast, Genis did the only thing he could do. He took his free arm and brought it to his side, whipping out his kendama before the larger man could react. Using all of his might, he yanked the toy back and bopped him in the nose.

"Ow! You stupid little—" the officer yelled, putting his hand on the aching skin. Taking advantage of this momentary distraction, Genis twisted himself from his grip, running towards Raine as fast as he could. As he raced across the room, she reached out towards him, her hand like a lifeline. He entwined his fingers within her grasp, and they both ran from the room as fast as they could.

"Everyone! After them!" they heard the booming voice echo behind them, but they wasted no time to turn around. They kept running and running, dodging confused renegades left and right. Genis panted in exertion but forced himself to keep going, clutching at the crumpled stack of papers like his life depended on it. He and Raine may have been discovered, but hopefully their efforts did not go to waste. He could only pray that they would make it to the others before they were caught.

*****

Over half an hour later, Zelos was still leaning against the same tree, staring into space. He'd forgotten how dull traveling to save the world could be. He'd quickly tired of watching Lloyd and Colette ooze their cuteness everywhere, but there was nothing else to do. Other than his normal obnoxious quips, he saw no reason to talk to the others. He gave a sigh and readjusted himself, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. The dull droning of insects and the chittering of birds rushed over his senses, as well as less discernible sounds like the rustling of a caterpillar as it crawled over a leaf. He groaned. He couldn't get some peace and quiet even in his own head.

As he grumbled in irritation, he heard another noise. A crunch-crunching sound, rapid and getting louder by the second, filled his ears. Startled, he glanced toward Colette, who met his gaze with wide blue eyes. She had heard it, too.

"Everyone, quick!," she cried, standing up with a start, "Get your weapons out. Something's coming!"

Everyone scrambled into fighting position, a tight circular formation that left no end exposed. Zelos was preparing to cast a small spell as an ambush when the intruders came into view.

"Genis! Professor!" Lloyd asked, lowering his swords slightly. "What's wrong? What's going on?"

The two half elves kept bolting ahead, not sparing a glance behind them. "Everyone! To the rheairds, now!" Raine shouted, panting.

With that worrisome statement, the group broke into a fast run as well, following the fleeing siblings. They made decent time, but Zelos could hear more and more footsteps approaching. He didn't dare look back, but he cursed silently. They had to be close.

"We're almost there!" Sheena yelled, a purple blur, "We can make it!"

Zelos caught site of the rheairds ahead. A little more. Just a little more, and they'd be—

"Huah!" came a shout from behind him, and he felt the tip of a weapon graze his arm. He cried out, more so out of shock than pain. He twirled around, his hair swirling around his face in a halo red, using his sword to move the object—some sort of lance—away from him.

He was face-to-face with a purple-haired half-elf that sported a calculated grin. Her eyes, so deep a purple that they were nearly black, matched her hair. Everything about her—the teal-purple armor, the sharpened lance, her powerful stance and poisonous expression—screamed danger.

"Well, well, well," She simpered, moving to attack him again, "Look what we have here."

Zelos snorted. "Cliched much, sweetheart?" he replied, emphasizing the fake endearment with a slash of a blade, one she nimbly avoided like it was second nature.

"Say what you will," she stated, examining him with interest, "But I never expected to find you here. It is rather convenient, though. So I'll need you to come with me."

The chosen chuckled. "I like a spirited women as much as the next guy, but I have a feeling you're not after a date. So yeah. Not happening."

This time, it was the half-elf that laughed. "It's so amusing that you think you have a choice."

She lunged towards him again, the tip of her spear narrowly missing his side as he jumped out of the way, last second. He fought her off, edging towards the rheairds. He could hear the low rumble of their engines, and he knew that everyone else was waiting for him to make it over. But this women was a formidable opponent. Making it to the flying machines would hardly be simple.

"But I'm tired of your silly games," the women declared, eyes flashing. She was vicious. Dangerous. "While I need you alive, I don't need you in pristine condition. If I have to ruin that pretty face, so be it."

She slapped his shield away, preparing for the strike that would end their duel. Before Zelos could react to defend himself, he heard an incantation.

"I call upon the maiden of the mist. Come, Undine!"

Violent torrents of water appeared around his opponent, raining down upon her with crushing force. Taking his opportunity, Zelos turned around and scrambled onto his rheaird, starting it up and flying into the sky. The swish of a weapon by his ear told him he made it just in time.

He flew forward, as fast as he could, noticing the seven other vehicles around him. So everyone else had escaped as well. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Zelos. Are you okay?" Sheena asked, shaken.

The chosen cracked into a grin and nodded. "You know it takes more than that to get rid of me! Besides, the more attractive hunnies were over here."

Sheena rolled her eyes but gave a small smile. With that, the group rode off towards the tree, hoping for answers to the series of rapidly building questions.

*****

"And what do you make of this, officer?"

Back in the temple of lightening, the purple-haired commander addressed the lower-ranking official, playing with the tip of her spear. Her tone was quiet, calm, but only a fool would lower their guard. She stood in front of the grotesque machine, illuminated by the occasional flash of lightening, making her appear all the more dangerous.

The burly soldier tried not to move, but he couldn't suppress the involuntary shudder that came from the way she spoke. Choosing his words carefully, he answered, "The suspected spies…have escaped."

"I know that, you fool!" she hissed, turning away from him in a sharp movement, making the officer jolt. She continued, in a more even tone, "But what do you make of that little group of spies as a whole?"

"They looked…familiar…" the officer stated. He hated when she pulled these games on him.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course they looked familiar. They were the regeneration group themselves! Do you understand what this means?"

The soldier's eyes widened. "The regeneration group? If they—if they find out about our plans, surely they'll try to stop us!"

"So you do have some brain power after all. Pity it came too late to be of any use." The powerful women spat, eyeing him with the same disgust one would show a repulsive insect. "But it appears I overestimated you. You are demoted from the head of operations here. Leave my sight at once."

"Of course, ma'm," the now former-officer saluted, hastily making his way out of the room.

The women waited until she heard the scuttling footsteps fade into the distance, then broke into a crooked smile, one that did not come close to reaching her eyes. "So we were unable to remain hidden for as long as I'd hoped. But it is no matter," she whispered, approaching the machine with a cool, calculated stride, her shadow a sharp and sinister shape behind her.

"That Tethe'allan Chosen is far too weak to hope to stop us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. A month in China leaves little time for writing. Now I'm home and adjusting back, so my writing should be able to resume shortly. Thank you to everyone reading this story, and once again, I don't own Tales of Symphonia.


	5. Chapter 5

#### To Achieve Salvation

##### Part 1—Changes

##### Chapter 4: The Truth He’d Always Known

The party reached the tree early the next morning. The scene seemed to mirror the day before; the cloudy sky, the motionless spirit, and the withering sapling. Sparing them all a brief glance, Zelos shuddered. He had not forgotten the disturbing incident theprevious day. The chosen planned on ignoring the eerie connection he had with the dying plant, and he steeled himself, glancing at the ground, hoping for Yuan to spit out what he knew so they could be done with it. Of course, the former seraphim was addicted to irritating others, and had perfected the art of explaining things in the most vague, roundabout matter possible. Zelos grit his teeth, then forced his expression into his practiced smile, just in time to observe the start of the conversation.

“What news do you have?” Yuan asked, standing up and adopting his usual position of crossing his arms. 

The group exchanged glances, wondering where to start. Lloyd, assuming the position as leader, spoke up. “Renegades,” he stated, looking the older angel straight in the eye.

Yuan’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly fixed his expression. “Renegades? Are you sure?”

“We are positive,” Regal affirmed, stoic as always. “But Raine and Genis would know the most.”

The seraphim glanced at the other half-elves. “And what did you find out?” he questioned.

Glancing towards her brother, Raine handed the crinkled documents from the infiltration to Yuan, unfolding them as she moved them forwards. “We stole some of the outfits, and Genis and I used them to sneak in the facility. We found these.”

As Yuan began to peruse the papers, Genis interjected, his words in quick succession from excitement. “That’s not all. We also saw this huge machine. It was so weird. And…creepy.”

The mage frowned at the memories of the sinister object, his voice becoming softer. “I could feel the mana from the tree being pulled into the machine, but I don’t know what they were using it for.”

However, Yuan did not react to Genis’ words. Instead, he flipped through the pages in quick succession, turning them back and forth as if he was trying to convince himself of their contents. His expression change from neutral to confused, ultimately settling on a mix of grave concern and disbelief.

“It can’t be…” he murmured, speaking to himself, “There’s no way…”

Zelos swallowed back the irritation that was building up inside. He had dealt with Yuan’s derisive crypticness all throughout Cruxis and then with the Renegades—he had had his fill for a lifetime. All he wanted to do was identify the problem and go away. Although he tried to blame his negative emotions on the presence of the seraphim, a small part of him knew that was wishful thinking. He hated being on this very site, with the dying tree haunting the present and the tower haunting the past. The same empty feeling he had suffered the day before was coming back full force, and he needed somewhere to run.

After a long, tense silence interspersed with small shuffling sounds, Yuan finally looked up from the papers he was holding. He stated, his voice somber, “These documents are plans to fix a machine. Much like the one Genis described.”

His words growing stronger, he continued, “But what concerns me is that this machine is designed in reference to the Salvation Project.”

“The—the Salvation Project?” Lloyd asked, serious. “Is that like the Angelus Project?”

Normally, Zelos was not one for the dramatic reveals (unless they were his own), but the name had brought with it a strong sense of foreboding. He wracked his memory, but he could not recall hearing of this in any of his many alliances.

Yuan shook his head. “No, not exactly. Although it does relate to the chosen of your group.”

Lloyd shot a questioning glance at Colette, who in turn shook her head. “I have no idea what he means,” she insisted. The party then turned their attention to Zelos.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” the Tethe’allan chosen protested, raising his hands and backing up as a sign of innocence. He was just as confused as everyone else. “I swear that I don’t know a single thing about this.” Still, the gazes of the group persisted, and the fragments of their broken trust stabbed him like a cluster of daggers, leaving him feeling bloody and exposed. 

Presea’s eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?” she queried, voicing the majority of his companions’ suspicions. 

Her words were like a punch to the gut; one he knew he deserved and saw coming, but knocked the wind out of him nonetheless. As he steeled himself in preparation to reply, Yuan once again spoke.

“I would believe the chosen for once,” he interrupted, “And let me reexplain. I was unclear. The chosen would be familiar with it, but not consciously aware of it. It is an experiment with the Cruxis Crystal.”

Colette’s hand subconsciously worked its way to the jewel that adorned her upper chest. Zelos resisted the temptation to do the same thing, settling for folding his hands behind his back. He listened closely to what Yuan was saying, because he had been truthful with the group. He had no clue as to what the older angel was talking about, although the topic made him unsettled. Cruxis always meant bad news.

Catching sight of Colette’s actions, Yuan continued, “However, I believe that only the Tethe’allan crystal was used in this project.”

Raine looked puzzled. “But what would make Zelos’ crystal different from Colette’s? Was it due to the status of the flourishing world?”

Yuan shook his head and clarified, “What made the crystal unique was not the stone itself, but Zelos’ reaction to it.”

The world went quiet. For once, Zelos couldn’t bring himself to speak. He had a horrible feeling about what Yuan was going to tell them, truths about himself that he would rather not know. The chosen observed his companions, who were dividing their worried glances between himself and Yuan.

“You—you can’t just stop talking there!” Lloyd blurted, stepping forwards. “What do you mean? Explain!”

Raine and Regal, the cooler heads, did not bother to admonish Lloyd’s rudeness. They themselves were concerned enough that they nodded in agreement, along with the rest of the group minus Zelos, who stared at the ground. 

Yuan stood still, composing his next thoughts. “Yes, I suppose I must. But listen carefully. This may take a while.”

* * * * *

_A blue-haired half elf strode along the desolate hallways of Welgaia. His boots made a clacking sound as he headed towards his destination, reverberating off the bare surroundings, each echo reinforcing the deathly silence. As he rounded a corder, he caught sight of two dead-eyed angels, floating on their stiff, feathered wings._

_“Greetings, Lord Yuan,” they droned, granting him a stilted bow before continuing on their way, falling silent as soon as their salutation was over. The seraphim ignored them, never breaking pace until he reached his desired location._

_The doors opened, and Yuan entered the throne room of Lord Yggdrasil. The Lord in question was seated upon his throne, leaning towards one side as he tapped his fingers on the arm rests. He looked up towards the interloper and smiled, although the mirth never reached his eyes._

_“I’m surprised you could make my summons on such short notice,” the blonde proclaimed, his voice cool and authoritative. “How goes the business on the Tethe’allan front?”_

_“Several leads are being explored, although nothing has panned out so far,” Yuan replied. Ironically, he had been sent to scout out Renegade activity in the flourishing world, and he wasn’t lying about the leads; he used this position to plant false trails every chance he got._

_A slight scowl marred Yggdrasil’s face. “Rather disappointing. I had expected you to uncover more by now. But no matter. That’s not why I called for you today.”_

_Yuan raised his eyebrows a fraction of an inch. “Well then. What do you wish, my lord?” he inquired._

_“Tell me, what do you know of the Tethe’allan chosen’s mana signature?” Yggdrasil asked._

_The Renegade leader was confused by the direction the conversation was taking, but replied nonetheless. “Only that it is unsuitable for Martel’s resurrection. I thought we were prioritizing the Sylvaranti Chosen, as she is a more likely match.”_

_“You are correct,” the blonde angel nodded in the other half-elf’s direction, regarding him shrewdly. “But while useless for our main goal, there is a whole other research potential for the sacrifice. I’m telling you this because I would like you to further explore this project.”_

_This news piqued Yuan’s curiosity, but his expression remained unchanged. “What are the specifics of the assignment?”_

_At this, Yggdrasil smirked. “It really is most unusual,” he intoned, sitting up in his throne, “While most failed chosens are incompatible because of the lower mana signature they possess, the Tethe’allan chosen is exactly the opposite.”_

_Yuan’s voice rose by a faint degree. “But…is that even possible? Martel’s mana signature was unnaturally strong. If hers had been any stronger, she would have been able to produce mana herself.”_

_“Precisely.” came Yggdrasil’s cool reply. He noted Yuan’s surprised expression with satisfaction. “The possibilities for practical application of this skill would be immense. If we were able to create our own mana…”_

_“It would certainly give us more power,” Yuan assented._

_“Yes it would. Just imagine—we could have more control over the condition of the worlds. The extra power could also be used to speed up Martel’s resurrection.”_

_Yuan stiffened at this comment. If Martel could see her brother now…_

_Yggdrasil continued, “I trust you can handle this assignment?”_

_“Of course, my lord,” he replied with a small bow._

_“Then you are dismissed.”_

_Yuan bowed once more and left the room, deep in thought. Ideas sprang to life in his mind, concepts that he had long ago buried with the formation of the renegades. Could this development truly be his salvation?_

_* * * * *_

Yuan finished his introduction, and the group was silent. Lloyd glanced around, puzzled. “I have no idea what that means,” he said earnestly. He looked towards Raine. “Professor?” he asked, hoping for clarification.

Raine stood there, shock still, in disbelief. Regaining the power of speech, she questioned the seraphim. “Zelos can…create his own mana? Surely that’s impossible!”

The chosen in question continued to look anywhere but companions, ignoring their confused stares. He didn’t want to hear the rest of this story. He retreated further and further inside of himself, lost in his memories while the conversation continued around him.

_He remembered sitting by himself in his large, lonely mansion, a place where he could detect the emptiness at his young age. There was no warmth to be found in this rich mausoleum that drained all life away. He sat on his bed and tried to create the warmth for himself, and while he could detect a faint spark, it was never enough._

Yuan sighed. “That was my first thought as well. But the further the research progressed, the more I understood.”

He knelt down by the ailing spirit of Martel, restarting the mana transfer process. His expression was a cool, calculated neutral as he continued, “As you all know, for four thousand years, Cruxis had attempted to create a vessel for Martel. This was an exceedingly difficult process. For a successful vessel, it was imperative that the mana signatures were a near-perfect match.

_His parents were husband and wife in name only. Forced together to breed a savior, they were torn away from their hopes and dreams and locked into a spiral of bitterness. The only thing they hated more than each other was him. In spite of it all, he still nursed that small spark inside himself._

“A mana signature is the unique amount of mana inherent to an individual, much like a magical fingerprint. In order for Martel’s soul to be reborn, she would have to move to a vessel with a similar mana signature. This was why the chosen system was created. Humans, because of their shorter lifespan and faster reproduction rates, were taken and artificially bred in order to create a similar mana fingerprint. 

_His father was dead and his mother was gone, her empty stare looking past him in a way that hurt more than her anger ever had. But Seles had arrived, and he discovered what it meant to share the warmth with someone else. But all too soon she was gone as well, and he felt the spark he had nurtured die like the light in his mother’s eyes when she lay there, dead and bloody and hating on the snow._

“Martel had an unusually strong mana signature, making it difficult to replicate. Humans with the strongest mana signatures were taken and bred with one another, creating chosen with stronger and stronger signatures. With the latest generation of chosen, the greatest success was achieved.”

_For a long time, he merely existed, filling his role as the chosen with a smile and ignoring anything that stirred the fading embers within. He ignored the desire for companionship, for a chosen only exists as a vessel for the suffering of the world, and he brought only misery and pain to those he touched. He sated himself with shallow pleasures instead, the ladies who would giggle at the drop of a hat, but never getting any closer than that devilish grin. But Sheena was different than the rest. Though she arrived in the castle and bowed in respect, he could see that the look in her eyes spoke of anything but reverence. He became infatuated with the exotic beauty that would refuse his advances. Every action she took was filled was a zest and sincerity—she filled the very air around her with a warm energy, and he found himself making excuses to go near her to steal some of the warmth for himself._

Yuan looked at Colette, addressing her directly. “You were the closest match to Martel ever achieved. The chronic angelus inofficium, her ability to speak through you—your signatures were nearly identical.”

With that, he addressed the party once more. “But the chosens on the Tethe’allan side were close in signature strength as well. Through the breeding process, unlikely as it was, the mana signature was overshot, ending up being stronger than Martel’s. This is the mana signature that Zelos possesses.

_The older he got, the more he learned. He had always understood that he was born to die, but he did not realize how utterly pointless it was until he grew older. By the tender age of 14, he figured the system was a sham. Every moment of his life decided for him, in case he ever had to save the world, all dictated by winged beings up above. He didn’t accept any of it, and sought a way out. By any means necessary._

“As we researched further, it was discovered that Zelos’ mana signature was so strong that he could actually produce small amounts of mana, much as Yggdrasil said. The goal of the Salvation Project was to determine how much of this mana could be produced.”

To this, Raine questioned, “But why would you need to produce more mana? Weren’t you based on Derris-Kharlan, the source of all mana?”

Regal added, “And what was the reasoning behind the name of the project? What salvation were you hoping to achieve?”

Yuan continued, “While I was ordered by Yggdrasil to research the project, the main research I did was for the purpose of the Renegades. Mithos himself did not need more mana; he was simply curious about what applications this new method of mana production would have; mainly, if it could somehow be used to give greater control over the worlds, or if there was a way to speed up Martel’s resurrection. He had long since given up on restoring mana to the worlds. But for the Renegades…”

_As the emptiness grew, so did the bitterness. Though he did his best not to think of her, everything reminded him of how much better a chosen Seles would be. The derisive looks he got when his back was turned, the whispers he heard from Meltokio society, and his own memories that refused to vanish, no matter how hard he had tried to forget. So when Pronyma offered him a position in Cruxis and a way out of the chosen title, he snapped it up. He did the same thing with Yuan and the Renegades. After all, it was only another role to play._

The blue-haired man trailed off, lost in thought. “Please continue, Yuan,” Presea interjected, her voice soft but strong, interrupting the uncomfortable silence that had befallen the group. 

Yuan continued, focusing even more on the mana transfer, as if detaching himself from the tale. “One of the main reasons we—I—opposed Martel’s resurrection was that her soul was entangled with the great seed. Bringing her back would have meant killing the seed and ending the world. But if another source of mana production could be found…”

“Then you would have been free to use Colette to resurrect Martel…it would have been your salvation,” Raine finished.

“Yes.” the seraphim stated, his voice devoid of emotion.

_When he first spoke to a recovered Colette, he was astonished at how perfect she was. She shone from within, her light never diminished, while he was a broken coward who had skulked to Cruxis and the Renegades. He couldn’t help but hate her a little bit. While his admiration for her grew, so did his envy._

Genis shuffled his feet impatiently. “Well then, what happened next?” he interjected, “Why haven’t we heard any of this before?”

Yuan sighed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “About a year or two before the Sylvaranti chosen underwent the journey of regeneration, the Renegades were able to come to a conclusion about the possibility of mana generation. The Tethe’allan chosen could indeed produce mana, but the amount was minuscule; barely enough to register on any sort of scale. Plans were drafted in order to increase the mana creation, but they were…unfeasible, so the plan was discarded, and the Renegade resources were once again devoted to stopping Martel’s resurrection.”

_He told himself he didn’t care. This group was a foolish bunch, wide-eyed and trusting. They were so naive they deserved to be betrayed. He thought not of Lloyd’s idiocy and idealism, Colette’s selflessness, Sheena’s determination. He ignored the childlike stubbornness of Genis and the soulful stare of Presea. He tried not to let Raine and Regals’ troubled yet resolute gazes affect him. But he failed. He was angry, still so angry, about his lot in life, and he would side with any faction that would offer him a way out. But the small part of him he had buried away over the years, the section of his consciousness not cruel and hardened by fate, couldn’t help but care about them. As the journey wore on and he was drawn far deeper into his many plots than he had ever imagined, he could never get rid of the small grain of friendship. He hated himself for not being able to let it go, but he hated himself even more for being so selfish in the first place._

“So, what kind of plan was it?” Sheena questioned.

“The chosen could produce mana because of his high mana signature,” Yuan continued, “What was limiting the amount produced was the size. The soul of a single person could not produce enough energy to sustain the world. But it was discovered that if the soul was broken apart into minute fragments, the mana production could be amplified on an exponential scale. Each piece would operate independently, producing the same amount of mana indefinitely. If the soul was broken up into enough pieces, it would be able to produce the same amount of mana as the healthy great tree, if not more.”

“So what stopped you?” Raine questioned, crossing her arms.

“The amount of mana required to split a soul apart is enormous. It would have taken more mana than available from the great seed, and would kill the tree in the young stage. The idea was discarded.”

“So, those machines…” Genis whispered.

“Are designed to funnel mana to break apart the chosen’s soul. I recognize these plans from the Salvation project. If this is what they are up to, then the tree will surely die.”

Colette stared at Yuan in horror. “But then what will happen to Zelos? Is he going to die?”

Yuan sighed. “I don’t know for sure,” he said, his ever-stoic face showing a hint of discomfort at the Sylvaranti’s honest stare. “I can only make assumptions. I don’t think he would die—I don’t think he could with his soul split. But he wouldn’t be alive, either. I can only guess that he’d fade away, with bits and pieces of his consciousness aware. Much like a soul broken across multiple exspheres.”

_He had gone against every instinct he had developed over the years and sided with Lloyd’s group. He had turned his alliance with Cruxis upside down, using his knowledge and influence to deactivate traps and steal the aionis for Lloyd. Now the world was saved, and he was one of its heroes. He should have been happy, for most everything he’d ever wanted had been achieved. However, the reunification of the world didn’t fix everything, least of all himself. Everyone around him was surrounded by warmth and light, yet he still couldn’t find his way out of the emptiness that had enveloped him all of his life._

“Wait a minute!” Sheena sputtered, scowling. She tried to only appear angry, but her eyes betrayed her fear. “You can’t talk about Zelos like that. Like he’s just some—some tool to be used!”

She turned to where the chosen was sitting, regarding him with an expression so full of anger and worry and life, begging for him to defend himself. But he didn’t say a word.

_Everyone had moved on but him. He remained there, floundering. The very world had changed, but he found he could not change with it. He was too broken, empty, falling apart bit by bit and could never hope to be whole. He didn’t have it in him, and he didn’t deserve it. It was the truth he’d always known._


	6. Chapter 5: No More Sacrifices

#### To Achieve Salvation

##### Part 1—Changes

##### Chapter 5: No More Sacrifices

_So this was what his future held._

_Zelos stared at the lifeless figure of Colette, her shimmering pink wings providing an eerie illumination in the dark room of his mansion. The rest of the newcomers from Sylvarant had long since gone to bed, but Zelos couldn’t sleep. The emotionless girl had haunted him whenever he closed his eyes. After tossing and turning for hours, he had finally given up on rest and crept through the hallways, towards the room where the Sylvaranti chosen had been left in for the night._  

_This was what Cruxis would do to him. He would become a lifeless doll, an empty vessel. Although he knew that state would be temporary, the thought did nothing to relax him. Yes, he would be brought back to a conscious state—but at what cost? He would become a cursed immortal being, his body a lifeless object that would house his soul from within the crystal._  

_It was rather ironic. In his twisted bid to escape his destiny as the chosen, he had run headlong into his fate. All of his efforts had only led him further into Cruxis’  trap. He was to become an angel regardless._

_Zelos had heard snippets and whispers from Colette’s companions. How she was bubbly and vivacious, with expressive blue eyes. How she was rather clumsy, but had a smile that could light up the entire room. How she had lost her appetite and sleep, her feeling and voice. How she had walked to her death and given up her mind and soul, all to save the world and the people she loved._

  _He cautiously approached her floating form, standing in front of her, face to face. She appeared as a reflection to him, the representation of the sacrificial strength he did not possess yet the embodiment of the agony he would have to endure. Although he closed his eyes, her red stare lingered in his mind, haunting his every thought._

_Her gaze was startlingly empty._

_So this was what his future held._

* * * * *

Twilight fell over the city of Meltokio, dyeing the buildings glorious shades of yellows and oranges. Even the squalor of the slums, visible off in the distance, was masked by the golden light. Long shadows were cast by the buildings, and the darkness of the night sky was steadily creeping into view. It was a perfect, picturesque evening.

Zelos sat on the roof of his mansion, overlooking the royal town. It really was beautiful, the light acting as a mask that covered up the true character of the city below. Much like himself. But all facades eventually fade; Meltokio was fast being taken over by the night, destroying the illusion of loveliness. His own mask was fading, falling to pieces. And he didn’t know if he wanted to put it back up. 

The events of the day had surprised everyone—everyone except him. He was aware that he should have been more shocked and worried, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He also knew that everyone else had noticed his lack of reaction, and he could have sworn that he saw concern etched in their faces, but he dismissed that thought as soon as it came, his mind replacing the worried faces with their earlier expressions of distrust.

After all, was what was going on really so bad? Yes, the tree would die, but the world would be supplied with mana—an endless amount of mana. At the price of his soul, the hollowed, half-rotten thing that lurked within him. Zelos had never been one for self-sacrifice, but this seemed different. He was tired of fighting, tired of running, tired of being a disappointment. Perhaps this was what he really wanted, to fade out of existence.

His angelic hearing discerned the sound of footsteps approaching on the roof. He grabbed the handle of his sword out of instinct and whipped his head around towards the source of the disturbance. He detected a bright red jacket in the fading light, with its inhabitant sporting a dumb, shocked expression at the chosen’s swift reaction. Lloyd. Zelos sighed and turned back around, releasing the grip on his weapon. As the twin swordsman sat down, Zelos stifled his annoyance. He wanted to be alone right now, but he doubted Lloyd would get the message.

“So…” the chosen began, leaning back and placing his weight on his elbows, “One hell of a day, huh?”

 Lloyd grimaced. “I guess you could call it that.”

A long pause occurred. Finally, to break the silence, Zelos inquired, “What’re you doing up here, bud?”

The brunette snorted, brushing the bangs from his face. “I would ask you the same thing.”

Zelos, without missing a beat, continued, “Well, I just like to plot the nearest route to all the available hunnies in town. I’d offer for you to join me, but you’d just mess with my game.”

Lloyd just stared at him, furrowing his brow. “Um…okay,” he said, “But I came up here to talk about a plan. You kind of just took off after we flew back here.”

Zelos cocked his eyebrow. “A plan for what?” he questioned.

This time, Lloyd stared at him like he was the dumb one, which was a switch in the normal interactions they shared. “A plan for saving you and the tree, of course!” He sounded incredulous, as though he could not believe that he had to explain this. “We have to get started right away. You heard what Yuan said. There’s not much time left!” His voice got louder and louder the further he progressed, and by the end of his speech, he was shouting.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, bud,” Zelos interjected into Lloyd’s tirade, patting him on the shoulder, “Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

Lloyd glared back at the Chosen, pushing his hand away. “I’m not. I’m just worried,” he exhaled, “And I think you need to be more upset yourself.”

“I think you’re emotional enough for the both of us. I mean, your hysterics are bordering that of my hunnies when I’m forced to leave the city.”

The brunette pounded his fist against the rooftop. “Don’t you take anything seriously?”

The chosen frowned, a look of hurt crossing his face. “I object to that. I take lots of things seriously! 

“Like what? Give me an example that does not involve your ‘hunnies’,” Lloyd scowled, an expression that was more suited for his father than for himself.

Zelos tilted his head back, squinting while he thought. “Well, I’m always serious about my good looks and masculine charm.”

“Ugh. That’s—that’s enough, Zelos!” Lloyd roared. His eyes were blazing, and the chosen found himself shrinking back from their vehemence. “You were there today. You were listening to what Yuan said. Don’t you understand? The Yggdrasil tree is dying, the spirit of Martel is dying, and you are dying! Don’t you get it? Don’t you care?”

After taking a deep breath, Lloyd continued in a quieter voice, “You always joke around and say things are fine, just acting like the idiot Chosen. I used to believe you and not really pay attention. But seeing you at the Tower of Salvation…I saw how bad things were. And I hated myself for not noticing earlier. 

“I don’t want to make the same mistake again—no one does. Everyone is worried. Why can't you see it?”

The two swordsman sat there for some time under an uncomfortable silence, watching the evening fade. After a while, Zelos spoke.

“Would it really be so bad?” he whispered.

Lloyd regarded him warily. “What…what do you mean?”

“The Renegade’s plan to kill the tree. It would create a constant, stable supply of mana that would never be at risk for running out. Is it really that bad? 

The twin swordsman gasped. “How can you say that? That’s at the cost of your life. Your life, Zelos. I thought you hated sacrifices—you joined Cruxis to get rid of the Chosen title. How are you okay with this?”

At that, Zelos laughed derisively. “Oh, Lloyd,” he sighed in his casual, maddening tone, “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“How am I supposed to ‘get it?’ You’re not explaining anything. You are the most confusing jackass of a chosen ever!” Lloyd growled.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” the chosen mused, running his hand through his crimson locks. He dropped his arm and sighed. “Nothing has changed, Lloyd.”

Lloyd narrowed his eyes but then softened his expression, his confusion matched by his concern. “What?”

Zelos closed his eyes but kept his expression blank. “Since regenerating the world. Things are different, yes…but nothing has truly changed.”

A soft breeze rustled over the rooftops, hinting at the future chill of the night, but neither figure so much as shivered. Brown hair fluttering in the wind, Lloyd gaped at him. “But—but so much has changed!” he cried, his voice full of desperation and passion, “The world is reunited and no longer has to compete for mana. There are no more Desians terrorizing Sylvarant, and racial relationships are improving. Chosens don’t have to be sacrificed. And that’s just the beginning. So how can you say that nothing has changed?”

“Because it hasn’t…. At least, nothing important,” The last few words slid out of his mouth before he could do anything to stop them. He opened his eyes at his slip-up, and prayed that Lloyd did not hear. But luck was not on his side tonight, and Lloyd’s eyes widened as he detected his words.

Both of the heroes of regeneration stared at each other, the worried expression on the twin swordsman’s face—so characteristically Lloydish, embodying the traits that he admired about him—acting as a silent plea for him to continue. And, unsure of his reasons, Zelos did exactly that.

“Yeah, we reunited the worlds, Lloyd. But what has really changed? Look at this city,” he began, sweeping his arm in front of him. It was though a dam had been removed and the flow of water unleashed. Things he had noticed, things he had been holding back, flooded out from his mind, and no force could stop them, “What’s different from before? Nothing. The rich are rich, the poor are poor, the church is crazy, and the half-elves are hated.”

“Things take time to change, Zelos. It won’t happen overnight. The journey to save the world didn’t end with the tree; it just took another form. We have to work to create a world where everyone can live in. I think there’s been great progress for how little time has passed.”

Zelos let out a spiteful laugh, a sound that was as bitter and ugly as he felt. “Maybe for Sylvarant. Tethe’alla’s still stuck on its same mindset as earlier. They refuse to change. Have you noticed that I’m still the Chosen? That’s not for lack of trying, as everyone else seems to believe. The government, the church, everyone is still stuck in their old ways. If the reunification of the world isn’t enough to shake them from their habits, then what is?”

“But can’t you see the little changes? How the citizens aren’t quite so angry at the sight of a half-elf? Did you see how the people have been banding together to help each other recover, even over here? I mean, look at Ozette’s recovery. Have you ever noticed how happy the citizens are when Genis stops by? And that was the town that wouldn’t sell supplies to half-elves. If that’s not some sort of progress, I don’t know what is. Right now, you’re acting just like that saying the professor quotes all the time—you can’t see the forest but for the…the…woods?” Lloyd screwed his face in concentration, but then continued, nonplussed, “But what I mean is change is occurring. It’s everywhere! Why can’t you see it?

Zelos sighed. “Maybe for you…maybe for everyone else. Look at you guys. You’re all out in the world, leading it to the future **.** You’ve all grown and changed into something stronger than I’ve ever been.

“But look at me. I’m still here, still the chosen, and Seles…” he trailed off and then spoke again, gathering his thoughts, “I was always fighting. I hated the being the chosen, more than anyone ever knew. I sided with Cruxis, the Renegades, you, anyone who offered me a way out. And as soon as I joined you, I knew that one way or another, I’d be done with everything by the end of your journey, be it a successful regeneration or…something else,” he said, his mind going back to those dark memories.

“Yet I’m still sitting here. I’m still stuck. I’m not any better than I was before, no matter how hard I’ve fought or how much I’ve tried. So maybe it would be better to just…disappear.”

“I…I don’t believe you. This doesn’t sound like you! This isn’t the Zelos I know!”

“Then what is?” Zelos shouted back, giving up any pretense of calm. Lloyd was startled at the intensity of his outburst. “That’s just it. All of you, every single one, know exactly who you are. Then there’s me. I look in the mirror and I don’t know who the hell is staring back!”

With that, the raw emotion faded out of Zelos’ voice, and he continued, as lifeless as before, “So maybe…maybe there’s nothing there at all. Maybe there never was. And it’s time I stop pretending otherwise. I’m tired of fighting.”

Lloyd was incredulous, but then squared his jaw, determined. “I—I won’t let you think that. I won’t! You’re you, Zelos. Nothing changes that. You deserve to be here as much as anyone else!”

Zelos shook his head and continued to stare off into the distance. “Just never mind, bud. Go to bed.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lloyd retorted, “Not until you get your head on straight. 

At that moment, Zelos snapped. His earlier outburst seemed mild in comparison to the words that followed, but for once, the chosen didn’t care about appearances. “Lloyd, will you just go away? I’m not in the mood for any of your optimistic, idealist, do-gooder bullshit! Maybe that works for you and the rest of your merry band, but it doesn’t for me. It never has.”

He returned to his earlier position and faced away from the other man, staring into the darkening sky. “So don’t waste your breath.”

Lloyd stared at him, his expression unreadable. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it, as if he thought better of it. Very slowly, with a solemness that was so unlike him, he stood up, staring the chosen straight in the eye. Without so much as a word, he withdrew the material blades from his sheaths and held the right one out in front, pointed towards Zelos.

“Ummm…okay, bud. What’s the deal?” the redhead asked, still leaning back on his elbows.

“You want to disappear? Then fine. Let’s finish it now.”

Zelos couldn’t believe his ears. This was Lloyd, the “no one should have to die” man himself. Yet there he stood, unmoving, with the vorpal sword pointed at the chosen’s chest. And Zelos could only gape like a goldfish.

“You heard me! Let’s finish this now. If you want to die so much, let’s fight.”

“Lloyd, I’m not gonna—“ Zelos began, but was cut off by the swish of a sword. Flamberge. Having no choice, he quickly withdrew his weapon and blocked the blow. They stood there, weapons straining, until Zelos threw Lloyd off with a flick of his sword. “Lightening blade,” he cried, and a bolt of electricity connected to the ground in front of him. Lloyd rolled out of the way, and countered with a violent series of slashes, forcing Zelos to block once more.

“Sweet Martel, Lloyd, what the hell are you doing?” the chosen shouted, moving nimbly across the rooftop to avoid the persistent strikes of his opponent. Confused, he remained on the defensive, only throwing out an occasional demon fang to trip Lloyd up.

“What does it look like? I’m knocking some sense into you!” Lloyd grunted, attacking with more ferocity. The weight of his blows increased, and Zelos stepped up his defensive once more as to dodge a particularly aggressive strike.

They fought for a while, the clashing of their swords drawing sparks that lit up the night sky. Zelos panted, “Why is that even necessary? I came up here for some peace and quiet, ya know.”

Lloyd was silent for a while, although he never ceased his ferocious attacks. The two swordsmen continued their fight, moving around the rooftop in a delicate, deadly dance. Lloyd connected a sonic thrust into a demonic tiger blade, the green light illuminating his face. He looked as angry as Zelos had ever seen him. “You said you’re tired of fighting, right? So then stop.”

A slash.

“Give up.” 

Another slash. 

“Let me kill you!”

A series of slashes. Each become harder and harder to dodge, and Zelos was forced to retreat further towards the edge of the roof. By sheer luck, he was able to pull off the powerful arc of a victory light spear, using the spinning momentum to propel himself away from the precipice and Lloyd’s merciless blades.

“Lloyd, you are absolutely insane!” he cried, taking advantage of the short distance he had put between them to cast a quick healing spell.

“Really? I’m the crazy one? You just sit there and tell me that you don’t care if you live or die, and that our whole journey meant nothing to you, and you expect me to be okay with it?” the twin swordsman exclaimed, again rushing towards the chosen with a flurry of strokes. “Because I’m not! And I’m not going to stop fighting until you listen to me!”

“Goddammit Lloyd, will you just leave me alone?”Although by now Zelos had gotten into the swing of things, he was still losing ground to Lloyd’s vicious assault. Despite his best efforts, he had ended up cornered on the edge of the roof. There was nowhere left to run.

“We all ignored you before, Zelos. We made a mistake, and look what happened. Why do you keep pushing us away?” Lloyd asked, his voice both angry and hurt. Ignoring his opponent, Zelos defended himself with the desperation of a wounded animal, but Lloyd’s blades were as unyielding as ever. The two men ended up at a stalemate, with their blades locked on each other, both pushing as hard as they could without giving an inch.

Zelos’ arms were shaking with exertion, and sweat trickled down his brow. “Why do you guys insist on getting closer? I disappear. So what? It doesn’t matter. Nothing does.”

With a sudden burst of energy, Lloyd broke the position they had both been locked in, managing to free his blade with a metallic clang. He used this motion to force Zelos to concede, but at the last second, the chosen once again brought up his blade in defense, and they ended up in almost the exact same position as before, with Zelos even closer to the edge. “I refuse to believe that. We have done everything for a reason. The tree matters. You matter.”

In exasperation, Zelos cried, “Why are you fighting this? If the tree dies and I disappear, you get a stable, constant supply of mana that will never be depleted. Isn’t that better than the tree? The world you all worked so hard to save will survive for an eternity!”

“And you call me stupid. I can’t believe you still don’t understand,” Lloyd said with a shake of his head, “The world everyone fought for was one that everyone can live in. I want you to live too, Zelos. I promised everyone that there will be no more sacrifices 

“You have so much to live for. There’s so much you can do. You really think that all of us won’t notice if you’re gone? All of us, we really do care about you, Zelos. That’s what has made this entire reunion so hard. We don’t know how to talk to you anymore. So much has changed. I…I can see you disappearing, and I don’t know how to stop it. None of us do.”

Lloyd just stared at him, his soulful brown eyes conveying his sadness and determination. “There is a way for all of us to live in this world, Zelos. I truly believe it. I have to. And I know that we can all work together to find it. 

“But you have to want to find it. You have to try. You need to believe that things can be better and can change. The only thing that is stopping you is yourself.”

With a sigh, Zelos lowered his sword, dropping it with a loud clatter. After a moment, Lloyd lowered his blades as well, placing them back in their sheathes. The two young men stared at each other, neither one wanting to break the silence. Finally, after lowering his gaze,  Zelos muttered in an almost inaudible whisper, “Is it really that simple?” He seemed to be asking himself more than anything.

Lloyd replied, sincere as ever, “You’ll never know unless you try.”

By now, the sky had long since darkened, the sunset a forgotten feature. Instead, the moon had risen, a thin crescent in the sky. The little light it gave off was different than the previous night, when no trace of the orb had been visible. After a moment of silence only punctuated by the breathing of the two men and the crickets of the evening, Zelos looked up. He stared at the sky, the new light of the tiny moon shining down upon him, illuminating his face.

“Tomorrow morning,” he said, causing Lloyd to tilt his head towards him. “We’ll head to Sybak for the imperial research academy. They did a number of studies on my crystal before. It’s the best place to start.”

“So…see you in the morning?” Lloyd asked, with both understanding that the question was asking more than it appeared.

“See you in the morning,” Zelos replied. A small smile ghosted on the edge of Lloyd’s face, and he turned around to leave, giving a goofy wave goodbye despite the solemness of the situation. A weak chuckle escaped Zelos’ lips.

“What an idiot,” he thought fondly, “But…that’s what I’ve always liked about him.”

He sat back down on the edge of the roof, still gazing at the moon. After a while, he detected the sounds of footsteps approaching again. This time, he remained still, and Sheena came and sat down beside him. 

The ninja fiddled with her sash, seemingly unsure of what to say. She decided to keep it simple. “Hey,” she whispered.

“Hey yourself, hunny,” Zelos replied, but he noticed that his own voice was more sincere, almost tender. Odd. But then again, it had been a long day.

Sheena looked surprised, but hid it quickly, “Lloyd told me I could find you up here.”

“‘Course he did,” he mumbled. His annoyed response made Sheena smile a little, although it didn’t reach her eyes. As they sat in silence, Zelos studied her face from the corner of his vision. Her pale skin and dark hair, her high cheekbones and exotic eyes. Her complexion was clear, skin free from any sort of makeup that most of the noble women wore. She presented her true self for the world to see, and she was gorgeous. A real beauty inside and out, with no need for masks or disguises. Every emotion she ever felt—happiness, anger, sorrow—would dance across her face, and she would make no effort to hide it. She was sincere, honest, and far braver than he had ever been.

“You lied to me,” she whispered, staring into the night.

“And that’s new?” he retorted, earning himself an elbow in the ribs. 

“Hey,” he grimaced, rubbing his side. He gave Sheena the hurt puppy dog look, but it didn’t work. Not that it ever had.

“You know what I mean,” she said, sitting with her back hunched. “About the spider. Why did you lie?”

Zelos shrugged. “What can I say? Everyone knows I’m a liar by now. Why are you surprised?”

“Will you stop dodging the question?” She asked, but the chosen still did not reply. She let out a heavy sigh.

Finally, Zelos spoke. “You’re brave, Sheena. You shouldn’t have to worry about someone like me.”

“You really are an idiot,” she whispered, “Of course I’m concerned about my friend.”

“Your…friend?”

“Of course, Zelos. Because you are my friend.”

Her deep, dark eyes sparkled in the moonlight. She gave him a small, sincere smile, one that spoke of more than words ever could. And to his surprise, Zelos found himself returning the gesture, more honesty etched across his face than there had been in years.

Of course, this couldn’t last forever. His genuine smile transformed into a broad smirk, and his blue eyes now twinkled not with sincerity, but with mirth. “But really, Sheena, I thought we’d become more than friends by now. No woman can resist my charms for that long,”

He went to capture her curvaceous frame in a rather sensual hug, but a well-aimed karate-chop to the shoulder ended the life of that plan.

“Stupid Chosen,” she muttered, but her tone was playful, almost relieved. They sat together, side-by-side, the uncomfortable tension between them dissolving in the air and sweeping away in the night breeze.

Because there he was, sitting in the place where he had sat many times before, watching the same scene of the sleeping city. Perhaps nothing had changed. But he felt the warmth of Sheena, seated by his side. Had she always been there? While he pondered the thought, the pattering of many gentle footsteps echoed across the night. The members of the regeneration group, each and every one, walked across the roof to where he was perched, settling down near him. No words were spoken, but Zelos could feel the support radiate from his companions—no, his friends—that surrounded him.

His mind wandered towards what he had told Sheena earlier, though it felt like a lifetime ago. Things were different, and things had stayed the same. This camaraderie, this silent support; this was not what he’d felt before. But really, had it always been there? Had he just not been able to see it? 

And just like that, the world had changed. Zelos Wilder, for the first time in a long while, dug deep into his soul and nurtured that tiny patch of warmth. He felt something that was different, that had been locked away inside, finally bursting towards freedom.

Hope. 

##### End of Part 1: Changes

##### 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This will be the last update for a while, because I don't want to publish part 2 until it's finished for continuity's sake--and my own sanity. I apologize for any formatting errors; the site was giving me trouble and I won't be able to edit this document for a while. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Also, if you get bored during the wait, you should check out Sastrei's story called Ashes, which can be found on fanfiction.net It's well-written with an original character that meshes in well with the cast, with believable strengths and flaws. It follows the game closely for a while, but has a few key differences the refresh the narrative. It also has one of the best-written romances I've seen in a while. But best of all, she actually updates! Regularly. So take a look if you're interested.


	7. Interlude 1

#### To Achieve Salvation

####    


##### Part 2—Hunger

#####    


##### Interlude 1

He lost his appetite at the temple of lightening. No one had noticed. They were focused on Sheena, comforting her and lending her their strength, so of course they didn’t see Zelos’ slight flinching and tense expression as the pain hit.

He had heard about Colette’s experience and gleaned some of the particulars from his involvement with Cruxis, so he had expected pain. However, no amount of information could have prepared him for this. This was beyond pain—this was sheer agony. Tiny, sharp blades clawed at his insides, tearing him apart bit by bit. He could feel an empty, gaping hole opening up from within himself, and it felt as though his very life was draining away. 

Despite the torment on his body, he had kept up appearances the rest of the day, acting like his usual obnoxious self while attempting to cheer up Sheena. As they lay down to rest that night, Zelos had found himself saddled with night watch and lacked the energy to complain. The group, exhausted by the day’s events, had silently eaten their meal and fallen into a deep sleep, Sheena’s rest every so often punctuated by a fitful moan.

He watched them, silent and still, the pain encompassing him. He had attempted to eat a bite of the food, but found he could not keep it down. Although the chosen knew it wouldn’t work, the small part of him that had hoped that this was all some sort of crazy nightmare died. He had simply faked his meal, drawing no attention to himself, and sat on the edge of the camp.

How had Colette remained so strong throughout all of this? How had she kept her sanity while feeling her humanity fading away? To him, her strength was even more proof of how worthless he was as a chosen. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell. He wanted to cry, but he remained silent. He had to. He was Yggdrasil’s secret weapon, a future angel to be unleashed to cripple the party when they least expected it. No one could know.

A small part of him hoped that they would figure it out. That one day they would notice that he wasn’t eating, or that he had gotten no sleep. That they would put two and two together and realize the pain he was in. But he knew that would never happen. He was too good an actor, and these people didn’t really care about him. They saw him as the idiot chosen; nothing more, nothing less.

But that didn’t stop him from wishing things were different.


	8. Chapter 6: New Adventure, Old Faces

#### To Achieve Salvation

##### Part 2—Hunger

##### Chapter 6: New Adventure, Old Faces

Why were all examination tables so uncomfortable?

Of the many thoughts that were swirling around the chosen’s head, this was the one that he dwelled upon. The last few days had been full of revelations that made his mind spin, forcing him to examine parts of himself that he’d just as soon forget. So, for sanity’s sake, he decided to focus on the more mundane, like the dull routine of an examination. After all, this was the imperial research academy. The budget the facility got was no measly amount; he had seen it himself. One would think that they'd be able to afford a bed with support and a pillow thicker than the sheet. Even with his dulled angel senses, the setup was intolerable.

Zelos sighed and placed his arms behind his head, the taut muscle providing more cushion than the pathetic pillow ever could. Squirming in an attempt to get comfortable, he began counting the cracks in the ceiling. His current predicament was the result of an impromptu exam on his cruxis crystal. True to the conversation he had shared with Lloyd earlier, the regeneration party had left for the academy at first light, arriving after a day or so of constant travel. The exam itself had been nothing special—some general scanning of the crystal and a measuring of his vitals. In fact, the only entertaining part had been the exquisite young half-elf who had been leading the tests. That, and the loud crash he heard from farther on in the academy that made the both of them jump in their seats. He had a sneaking suspicion that Colette was somehow involved, but there was no way for him to find out, so the examination had continued. However, the researcher had left some time ago to analyze the results, leaving him to his present position of uncomfortable boredom. 

The noble had long since tallied the cracks on the ceiling and was now in the process of calculating the average number of fractures per square foot—he had always been good at math. He was in the final stages of the problem when he heard the creak of the poorly-oiled door. 

There she was, that gorgeous young women! She had shiny lavender hair pulled away from her face in a practical ponytail, with a few stray strands poking out here and there. Her features were fine, and the expression that graced her face was one of shyness, her light gray eyes darting back and forth. Despite her reserved nature, she appeared professional, a clipboard tightly in her grasp.

“Hello again, my intellectual beauty,” Zelos chirped, sitting up and granting her a charming smile.

The researcher blushed at his words, but regained her composure. “I have the results of the tests, Chosen One,” she said, straightening her posture, “And I would ask that you please call me by my name.”

“Very well, Ella darling,” he replied, the term of endearment earning him another blush. Her name really did suit her. The word rolled off his lips, the pronunciation a pleasing lilt that echoed her delicate looks. “Now shall we begin?”

“Hey! Hold up a minute, hotshot,” came an aggressive bark from the doorway. He glanced towards the interruption, taking in the sight of an impatient, surly, and decidedly not delicate ninja. 

Observing her crossed arms and angled hips that served to (unbeknownst to her) emphasize  
her well-endowed chest, a smirk curled at the end of the chosen’s lips.

“Don’t worry, my violent hunny. I wasn’t going to leave you out,” he drawled, leaning back seductively. He noted with no small amount of mirth that both of the beauty’s faces reddened, one in embarrassment and one in anger. “After all, the more, the merrier,” He scooted to the edge of the table, patting where he had left room for someone to join him.

At that moment, Genis burst in, bumping into the table where the womanizer lay. “What’s taking so long?” he cried, not having heard their earlier exchange.

This time, it was Zelos’ turn to scowl. “No. Definitely not you,” he deadpanned, sitting up with a start. “You were not what I had in mind.”

Sheena chortled and Ella let out a small giggle, while Genis just looked confused. “What’s so funny?” he asked, then examined who else was in the room. His eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on the most probable culprit. “Zelos, what did you do?”

“Believe me, absolutely nothing.” he stated, which served to make Sheena laugh harder while the frown on the mage’s face deepened. Before the younger Sage could form a reply, the rest of the party entered the room.

“Man, that took forever,” Lloyd whined, cracking his shoulders where they had been stiff from sitting too long. 

Genis rolled his eyes. “You’re just upset that the researchers wouldn’t let you guys play in the lobby any more.”

“Not that I blame them,” Raine sighed, sweeping a few silver bangs out of her face. “How on earth did you manage to smash into that giant skeleton?”

So that explained the crash.

“I’m so sorry, professor,” Colette cried, apologetic, “I don’t know what happened. One minute I was playing with Lloyd, and the next…” she trailed off, but there was little mystery to what occurred.

“Oh, it’ll be all right, Colette. Just do be more careful in the future,” Raine replied, full well knowing there was no way that the young girl could ever contain her clumsiness. After her gentle scolding, she turned to face Ella. “But let’s proceed to the reason we’re all here. What are your results from the examination?”

Eight faces directed their gaze to the researcher. Ella, feeling the pressure of their questioning stares, cleared her throat and began. “Well, I ran a fine-tuned scan of his crystal mana levels. They are abnormal, to say the least. They seem to be fluctuating between one moment and the next in a pattern that is unpredictable. But that’s really all I can tell you, I’m afraid.”

“And why is that?” Presea inquired.

Ella began to fidget, tapping the back of her clipboard. “The truth is, I’ve never seen anything like it before. Every other crystal we’ve examined has had a stable mana reading, even his crystal in previous years. Not to mention his vitals are fine. He’s perfectly healthy. I have no idea what would cause such a thing.”

Everyone looked thoughtful at her words, but Raine scowled. “Really now,” she stated, unimpressed. She grabbed the clipboard from the surprised doctor’s hands and began to leaf through the pages. “This is what gets by as research in this part of the academy? Pathetic.” 

The purple-haired researcher stood there, shocked. After a minute, when it became clear that Raine had no intention of returning her clipboard or even allowing her to speak, Regal gave her a small bow. 

“Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice. We appreciate your efforts,” the president said, grabbing Raine by the shoulders and steering her out the door. She did not look up from her stolen clipboard. “I think we have taken up much of your valuable time. We will bid you farewell.”

He exited the room, and the rest of the group followed, an awkward silence hanging over them. Zelos followed them out, but he made sure to wink at Ella before he left. “Until next time, hunny,” he grinned, dodging a slap from Sheena on the way out. 

* * * * *

A while later the party found themselves seated in the cafeteria, enjoying a small lunch. Well, some of them were. Raine was far to absorbed in the exam results to eat much, while Lloyd had gulped down several serving’s worth of noodles. Everyone else was pretty much normal.  
Except for him. Zelos looked down at his lunch, a mostly-full bowl of the same noodles that Lloyd was wolfing down. It didn’t seem that appetizing; food hadn’t held his interest much since the angel transformation. Although he could again hold down his meals and taste things correctly, his appetite had never returned. Eating, especially now that he didn’t have to as an angel, seemed like more trouble than it was worth. Preparing the food, testing for poison—a lot of work for an unnecessary activity. And for what? So he could play human? Some things you could never go back to.

He let out an internal sigh. Was he really brooding again? He was hopeless. The appointment earlier had provided him with many distractions, but his mind would always end up in the same melancholy place.

In an attempt to break his stupor, he refocused on the events occurring at the lunch table, which was much of the same. Off to the side, he noticed Lloyd was as into his lunch as ever. The chosen analyzed him for a bit, focusing at how rapidly the food was flying in his mouth. How did he eat so quickly? Was he even chewing? Was this a dwarf thing, or just a Lloyd thing?

It seemed that Zelos was not the only one to be enthralled by the Iselian’s display. Genis looked disgusted, using the expression he normally reserved for one of Zelos’ crude remarks. Colette’s mouth gaped open in wonder—god those two were meant for each other—while Sheena and Presea appeared disturbed. Regal was concentrating on anything but Lloyd, and Raine had yet to look up from the clipboard.

“Lloyd,” Presea interjected after some time, choosing each of her words with careful consideration, “You should slow down and chew your food.”   
For the first time in what seemed like hours, the stream of food halted. Lloyd looked puzzled. “But…I’m hungry. What’s wrong?”

Zelos decided that now was as good a time as any to detach himself from the conversation. But before he could completely zone out, he heard Raine grumble, the first words she had spoken since insulting the young half-elf that had examined him.

“Really, Lloyd. Your eating habits are most distracting. Didn’t I teach you better than this?” she snapped, slamming the clipboard against the chipped cafeteria table, adding another small nick into the already worn surface. 

“Well, yeah, but it’s been awhile,” he mumbled, blushing but continuing to eat, albeit at a slower pace. 

Taking advantage of the fact that Raine was reacting to external stimuli once more, Regal questioned, “Have you discovered anything that would shed more light on the situation?”

The entire party turned their gaze to the professor, who took this as a cue to lecture. “I wasn’t able to piece together all that much, but I certainly have more of an answer than that incompetent researcher,” At the thought of young worker, she scowled, but the interrupting thought was brief, so she proceeded to report her findings.

“The results of the tests are much as she described; the fluctuation of Zelos’ mana is continuous, intense, and unpredictable. Although if she had run more tests we would have been able to get a better understanding of the movements…” she muttered, getting lost in thought again. Presea uttered a small cough, which seemed to get her back on track.

Raine continued, “I only have an incomplete theory at the moment, but it’s the best I can do. Since Zelos had transformed into an angel, his mana signature is intertwined with the cruxis crystal in a relationship stronger than an ordinary person to an exsphere. So it reflects the state of his mana extremely well. All we can tell from those tests alone is that something is causing his mana to go out of control. However, if this information is taken into account with these machine plans we stole from the temple of lightening, everything makes a lot more sense.

“You see,” she said, laying the plans flat on the table and gesturing to a drawing with her fork, “This is a blueprint of one of the machines that is absorbing the massive amounts of mana. Here in the top center, this little dot? I’ll bet it’s a tiny fragment of Zelos’ cruxis crystal. It’s using that to draw his soul to it, small bits of a time. The large amounts of mana are used to power these machines. It’s also used to make the draw of the small crystals bigger than the main one, which is what splits his soul.”

“Like a giant magnet?” Colette asked.

“Actually, yes,” Raine replied, giving a slight nod.

“So how did they get pieces of Zelos’ crystal?” Genis inquired, leaning forwards and placing his elbows on the table. His actions caught the attention of his sister, who narrowed her gaze until he removed his arms from the wooden surface, sheepish.

“Well, I did work for Cruxis for a long time before you guys came around,” Zelos added, fiddling with the ice cubes in his water glass, “I wouldn’t put it past them to nick a piece here and there.”

“Okay, fine then. Say that’s the cause,” Sheena interrupted, examining Raine with a shrewd eye, “So how do we stop it?”

“We smash up all the machines and remove the crystal fragments!” Lloyd exclaimed, pounding his fork on the table. The force caused a bit of noodle to go flying, landing on Presea, who removed it wordlessly. 

“Idiot,” Genis sighed, “It’s got to be more complicated than that.”

“Not necessarily…” Raine murmured, causing Lloyd to perk up.

“Wait. Was I right?” he asked, turing his head sharply.

The professor bit her bottom lip. “Well, all that is required to stop Zelos’ soul from splitting is to stop the mana from being channeled into the crystal fragments. Similarly, to stop the mana drainage, the machines need to be shut down. So going in and destroying them is the most straightforward option.”

“Yuan said that the machines were taking advantage of the old mana links to create channels to funnel the mana from the tree,” Regal stated, “So are we to understand that we must destroy eight of these machines in total?”

“No, as it turns out. The links follow the exact same pattern as the summon spirits; they use the opposing spirit’s temples as a source for the link. So all we have to do is destroy one machine from each of the pairs. It would be better to destroy all eight, but we don’t have that kind of time. Our best hope is to break the links to stop the mana drainage on the tree, and then deal with the rest later. That way, they won’t have enough mana for the amplification powers necessary to attract parts of Zelos’ soul to the crystals, either.”

“Well, that’s simple enough,” Sheena shrugged, leaning back in her seat, “So where are we off to first? We have enough time to start heading somewhere before dark.”

Regal stared at Raine, catching her attention. “If I may,” he began, waiting for approval. After receiving a small nod from the half-elf, he continued, “I would suggest that we rest for the remainder of the day.”   
“But—the tree. And…” Colette interjected, glancing towards Zelos and then back at Regal, concerned. “Is there enough time?”

“I’m not saying we stop all together. I just propose that we stop until morning. We have been exhausting ourselves this past week. We should take some time to rest and formulate a strategy, so we can start off tomorrow well-rested and well-planned,” the president suggested, calm as ever. His response served to calm Colette down.

“I agree,” Raine added, regarding Regal with a favorable expression, “We can get a large room at the inn and plan in there. So why don’t we break for now and meet up again before dinner?”

“Fine by me,” Zelos declared, “So are we excused, professor?”

Raine rolled her eyes. “Dismissed,” she said, “But don’t get into any more trouble.” She ended her statement with a meaningful look at Lloyd, Colette, and Zelos.

“Wait a minute,” the redhead protested, withering under her glare, “Why are you looking at me? I wasn’t the one who knocked over a giant skeleton. I’m way more graceful than that.”

“Don’t worry, Zelos,” Sheena said, “I’m sure you’ll find trouble somehow.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault that all the ladies throw themselves at me!”

Genis sighed. “Zelos, the last women that threw themselves at you was trying to stab you,” he stated, referring to the skirmish outside the temple of lightening.

The chosen let out an amused snort. “An elaborate form of foreplay,” he insisted.

Genis scrunched his face, repulsed. Colette, however, blinked a few times, then asked, “Don’t you mean two-play?”

The devilish smirk he had sported while teasing Genis vanished, replaced with an incredulous look. She couldn’t honestly mean…

“There were only two of you,” she continued, oblivious to the stares she was getting from everyone else, “So that would make it two-play. You’d need two more for four-play.”   
Raine was about to chime in to correct her clueless student, but Zelos interrupted her. 

“You’re absolutely right, my angel,” he clamored, flashing her a grin, “So why don’t you, the professor, and my violent demonic banshee meet up with me and I’ll show you how it’s done?”

He only had a brief moment to catch Colette’s delighted expression before a whack on the back of his head made him lose focus. “Pervert,” Sheena hissed, venomous, “Stop corrupting her,”

Zelos only shrugged. “She’s gotta learn sometime,” he said, “Now’s as good a time as any.”

“I think it’s time to pay the bill,” Raine announced, standing abruptly. “Come, Colette; we’ll make this your math lesson for the day,”

“Okay,” the blonde angel smiled, moving to stand up but was grabbed by Raine and dragged away from the table. This left the six remaining members sitting at the dining area, all saying nothing, with only the scraping of Lloyd’s fork against his bowl as he finished the last of his lunch breaking the silence. 

Presea, seeking to escape the awkwardness, stated, “I will go and restock our supplies.” She stood up, pushing her chair in with a scrape.

“And I’ll join you,” Sheena added, nearly jumping out of her seat. The two girls then walked out of the cafeteria, the door shutting behind them with a clang.

Zelos stared at the rest of the party. “Well, gentlemen,” he proclaimed, rising from his seat with all the elegance of his breeding, “It’s been a delight, but I’m going to seek the company of the fairer sex.”

Following the footsteps of Sheena and Presea, he made his dramatic exit, leaving a bemused Regal and Genis and an oblivious Lloyd.

* * * * *

After the intense scrutiny Zelos had received for the past few days, it was nice to be lost in the anonymity of the crowd. Although he was often recognized in the streets, he was good at sticking to the shadows when he didn’t want to be found.

He stood in the corner of the market district, observing the people scurrying about. It was similar to Meltokio. Most of them were still fools—educated, but fools nonetheless.

A sudden movement broke his thought. Out of the corner of his eye—a flash of red? Whipping his head around, he saw her. Seles.

The air caught in his throat, and he found himself frozen; unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to tear his gaze away from the girl in front of him. No, not a girl. A young women. When did that happen? 

She was walking amongst the shops that lined the streets of Sybak, stopping every now and then to peruse a particular stall. She worked her way down the busy street, closer and closer to where he was standing. Her hair gleamed in the afternoon sun. In fact, she appeared to be glowing entirely, her skin no longer a sickly pallor but slightly tanned from the sun. Although she wasn’t facing him, he could see the gentle smile that crept across her face, a smile that he hadn’t seen for years. 

This was what he wanted, right? Seles was happy, healthier than he had ever seen her, finally free from her lonely prison in the abbey. Then why did his heart ache when he looked at her?

Trying to shake the lingering thoughts away, he examined her again. She was coming closer. If he wasn’t careful, she would see him, and her smile would disappear. He went to move, to disappear in some back alley like the skulking coward he was, but his sister’s stop into a stall a few yards in front of him halted his actions. Seles had ducked into a book seller, the excitement plain upon her face, and emerged with a volume tucked under her arm. She smiled to herself her secret smile, giving the area a cursory glance to make sure she was unseen with her guilty pleasure. Zelos regained control of his limbs upon the realization she would look his way, but it was too late. Their eyes met, and as his sister loosen her grip upon her books in shock, a glimpse of bright pink sent his mind reeling.

The weather in Meltokio was gorgeous; not too hot, not too cold, with just the right amount of sun and a refreshing breeze.

Yet the climate did nothing to ease Seles’ illness.

The young girl lay in her bed, swallowed up by the cushion and blankets. Books were scattered around the room, haphazard, piled into unsteady stacks and strewn around the floor. One book was in her grasp, and she thumbed through the pages intently, stopping only when she gave a hacking cough or the pain in her head became too great, which was far too often for her liking. All too soon, she reached the end of the book, and she rolled her eyes and slammed the volume shut, throwing it to the floor, where it landed with a satisfying thump.

She lay back down on the bed, too weak to get up but too awake to fall asleep. Besides, she’d already had at least two naps today. Sleeping around got old very fast. In utter boredom, she began counting the books surrounding her—she had always been good at math.

A few blocks aways, Zelos was running towards the mansion, a stack of books balanced precariously in his thin arms. One of the knights who had accompanied him tried to carry the volumes for him, but he had refused. These books were for Seles, and he wanted to bring them to her himself.

“Must we run all the way back, Master Zelos? You’ll likely trip and injure yourself,” one of the guards huffed. For all of his battle prowess, his stamina could not compete with the eager young boy’s.

Zelos just laughed. “We’re almost there. I’m not slowing down now!” he panted, ignorant of the plight of his guardians. He was so excited to see Seles that everything else was a blip, an unnecessary detail.

It had been almost a week since he had seen his sister. Between her illness and his duties as the Chosen, they had had no time for each other. But he was unhappy with this, so he had pleaded with one of his instructors to let him out of his lessons early. He was a very charismatic child, so of course she said yes. He let slip a small smile. Women were so easy to convince. He couldn’t quite figure out why, but it didn’t matter.

Finally, he had reached the front gates. The knights guarding the entrance opened the way, and Zelos sped past them in a rush to see his sister. He just knew she would love the surprise he had gotten her.

The young chosen wasted no time in reaching his sister’s room. Upon reaching the doorway, he somehow managed to juggle it open with his elbow, having no free hand for the knob. He kicked the door open with his foot, putting more force behind the strike than he meant too. The heavy wooden structure flew open, hitting the opposite wall with a loud smack and causing Seles to sit up in shock. Upon noticing that it was her big brother (and really, who else would it be?), she rolled her eyes, but not after breaking out into a small, amused grin.

“You really should just have put the books down and opened the door. Or summoned a servant,” she stated, her voice flat.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he replied, dropping the stack of books on her bed with a slight oomph. “And hello to you, too.”

Seles drew her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs. “I thought you were too busy to come by.” The sentence was directed towards him, but her gaze remained on the new pile of books.

“Hey, now,” he said, his face pinching into a frown, “Don’t say that. I always have time to hang out with my little sister.”

His face once again broke out into a grin, after he had aired out the negative thoughts and let them flow out the room with the breeze. “And besides, I got you an awesome present!”

He glanced again towards the ill girl, who was now rifling through the volumes he had purchased. She looked unhealthy, of course, but something else was wrong. Her lips were pursued too tight, her eyes too strained, the air about her too despondent to just be the illness.

He approached her hunched form, settling down on the bed beside her with nary a rustle of the sheets. Placing his hand on the cover of a random book near her own pale fingers, he asked, uncertain,“Do you not like the books? I can go back out and get different ones.”

She shook her head, drawing her hands further into herself. “No, nothing like that. They’re great,” She lifted her head and made eye contact, “Thank you. It’s just…” 

Her voice wavered and she trailed off. She moved to look away, but Zelos spoke before she could do so. “You wish you could choose them yourself.”

She gave a slight nod and a sad smile. “Yeah.”

Suddenly catching her moment of vulnerability, she straightened up and narrowed her gaze, eyeing the books critically. “But really, what were you thinking?” she accused, holding up a volume that was an intense shade of pink lettered with a flowery script,”I don’t read stupid books like these. You should have looked harder in the classical works.”

Zelos snorted at that. “Yes you do. You were reading one last week! I know you tried to hide it under the cover of a text on religious theorem.”

Seles sputtered, “No—that’s not—I mean—it was one time! You’re the worst big brother!”

“Then why were you reading another one the day before that? And another week earlier? And when we had to sit through that really long—ouch!”

He raised his hand to the back of his head where his sister had just whacked him with a book. “Jeez, what was that for?”

She simply snorted and went back to sorting through her books. He winced, massaging his injury. It would fade in a minute, but Seles still packed quite a punch for a sickly girl.

“Tell you what,” he said, his seriousness catching his sister’s attention. She stared at him, rapt. “Someday, when you’re feeling better, you can come to the market with me. The one in Sybak has the biggest collection of books you’ll see outside a library. You can choose some yourself. I can hold the girly ones.”

“I’d like that,” she whispered, “I’d like that a lot.”

Taking advantage of his momentum, he added,“Also, you should really thank your smart, talented brother, after he went through all the trouble of doing this for you.”

She smiled begrudgingly, rolling her eyes, but the resulting expression was genuine. “Thank you, big brother.”

They looked at each other and smiled. Everything was going to be okay.

But here in the present, she looked at him and stared. Everything was not okay. He stared back, unmoving. He noticed she carried a large bag of books, and in her hand she grasped a volume with a bright pink cover. For a moment, he had the urge to run over and take the book from her, to hold onto her secrets like he had promised, but he knew it was too late. Dwelling on what could have been served no purpose but to bring back that empty feeling he promised Lloyd he would fight. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to move, either. Finally, Seles broke his gaze, heading toward the residential sector with that brisk walk she used when she was bothered but wanted to hide it. He continued to stay, hoping for some reason that she would look back, but she never did. Then again, she always looked forward. He was the one stuck in the past—and that needed to change. He wasn’t strong enough to deal with this now, he thought as he turned to head to the inn. Maybe one day he would be. But would she still be there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Oh look, I'm not dead...yay? It's been awhile. Sorry. But I'm getting back into the swing of things!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I have ever written, so I hope that it is of passable quality. As of now, it is unbetaed, so all mistakes are my own. This will be a multi-chapter story with about six brief arcs. I don't own Tales of Symphonia.


End file.
